


A Mutual Friend

by jumble_of_fandoms



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Moments, Pierce is a dick, References to Depression, Set after 3X19, So much angst, Torture, Violence, bit of a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-04-18 00:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 33,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14201337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumble_of_fandoms/pseuds/jumble_of_fandoms
Summary: Pierce finds out some information about Lucifer that changes everything. If the Devil himself is going to break his deal, then Pierce is determined to do everything he can to break Lucifer. How far will Lucifer go to protect the woman he cares for?And how far is Pierce willing to go to break Lucifer?





	1. Chapter 1

Lucifer heads towards the lower level of Lux, all heads turning in his direction as he descends the curved staircase. He makes his way through the gyrating crowd, throwing a smile here and a wink there. Hands brush across his arms, his chest, his ass, as people of all genders gravitate to him, but he only sets a path for the bar, sweeping aside the more grabby humans.

Once he has reached the safety of the bar, he leans over the counter and grabs a glass and whichever bourbon happens to be closest to him. It’s all top shelf, after all, and he isn’t feeling particularly picky tonight. Glass in hand, he sets one last path for his grand piano that takes up the center area of the night club. It may not sit on a pedestal, but it certainly commands the room, especially when the Prince of Darkness sits behind it. As soon as his fingers touch the keys, the music in the club quiets and all eyes are on him. Humans lean over rails, lounge on couches, but they all know the unspoken rule to stay away while he plays.

A haunting melody unfolds under his fingers as they dance across the keys, and his voice soon accompanies, crooning out a song that is sad and thoughtful, telling the tale of one lost to time. It isn’t long before the song ends and the club is once again rocking to heavy bass, but it sticks with the crowd for the rest of the night. Between the song and Lucifer’s mood, the club empties out pretty early on into the night, with most of the patrons already calling an Uber to take them to the next hot spot of the night. A few glances are thrown over shoulders as the scantily glad humans climb the steps, hoping against hope that tonight might be their night in the penthouse above, but Lucifer’s attention is only on the bourbon in front of him and a quiet calm soon settles over the club.

Lucifer takes a sip, ignoring the slight burn he still feels as it slides down his throat, before chucking the glass across the bar. Glass shatters and flies along the floor, but Lucifer barely even registers it. He had once again been subjected to watching Chloe and Pierce flirt relentlessly with each other for the entire day and frankly, his heart really couldn't take anymore of it. Currently, plans for another extended trip to Vegas were formulating in his head and the only thing stopping him from going was the need to protect Chloe from whatever Cain might be planning. Instead, he only sighs and rises, making his way back towards the elevator that he descended in only a couple of hours ago.

“Going somewhere?” A voice calls, and before Lucifer can turn around, a bag is thrown over his head.

“What in the name of-” Lucifer starts, already beginning to turn around, but stops when he feels a flash of cold steel at his neck.

“I would stop right there if I were you,” the voice says, pressing the steel blade harder against Lucifer’s neck. Lucifer makes no move to turn and instead allows himself to be lead towards the elevator. The voice is being pitched drastically, and Lucifer realizes that there is some sort of distortion device in play.

“You know, I wasn’t really in the mood for company tonight, but if this is the game we’re playing, then by all means.” Lucifer smiles under the hood, fully aware that his so called kid napper can’t see it, but he’s only shoved harder in return. The doors to the elevator open and he shuffles his way inside, taking his time and trying to figure something out in his head.

“It’s funny that you have a blade and all, seeing as how nothing on this world can kill me.” Lucifer says, putting some effort into making his words sound chipper as his mind continues to turn, doing it's best to come up with a list of possible suspects. Takes a lot to break into Lux without his knowledge, so the list is dwindling.

“Oh, don’t worry you about that,” the speaker says, kicking him behind the knees. Lucifer grunts as his knees hit the tile floor hard. The person behind him leans over him, and Lucifer can feel his breath right next to his ear even through the bag on his head. “Demon steel tends to cut just about anything. Including you, I’m afraid.”

Lucifer feels his chest clench, but before he can say anything, the blade is removed from his neck and he is hit over the top of the head. Before he slips away, face pressed against the floor of the elevator, Lucifer just dimly makes out a laugh he would recognize even through distortion.

A bright flashing light wakes Lucifer, and he jolts, mind whirling as he tries to piece together where he currently is. His mind finally focuses on the piano that is kept in his penthouse, and Lucifer starts to relax as he realizes he never left home. It doesn’t last long, however. He tries to stand and realizes that he is being held down. Moving his hand just slightly, he feels the rough coarseness of rope restricting him.

“You know, this would be kind of kinky, if it wasn’t so predictable.” Lucifer calls out, hoping to draw whatever attention might be on him away for even the slightest bit of a second. He hears footsteps slowly make their way towards him as he continues to feel out his bonds as best as he can. Every inch of him feels tied down to the chair he is perched on. The one strange part though, the part that he is the most concerned about, he is sitting in it backwards. His chest is pressed against the back of the chair as he straddles it, leaving his own back exposed as the air from the penthouse ghosts over his skin.

“You can come out now, it’s starting to get boring.” Lucifer says, doing his best to sound completely uninterested in the situation at hand. The steps draw closer to him, but they are coming from behind. “Honestly, I’ve had a better date with a mannequin, and well, let’s just sa-”

A blow to his head stops him short and leaves him gasping for air for a moment. While most pain only feels like a slug to the shoulder, this blow leaves stars dancing in front of his eyes. _Well then, I at least know who to start with..._ Lucifer says to himself as he starts to go over the list of people who can actually cause him harm. Amenadiel has been too busy with Doctor Linda as of late, so Lucifer is pretty sure he hasn’t pissed him off lately.

That leaves Maze...and Cain. Two people who have their own grudges with Lucifer at the moment. Which would also explain the demon steel that was mentioned earlier. “You know,” Lucifer starts once he settles on who his thinks the mystery person is behind him. “Maze isn’t actually allowed to hurt me. Sure we get into scuffles and all that, but rules of Hell and all.”

Lucifer knows that the person hasn’t moved an inch since the blow to his head, and he strains his ears to at least get some sort of clue that he’s right. Lucifer shivers as a finger starts to run along his back and a thought finally crosses his mind. “Wasn’t I wearing clothes when I came home? In that much of a hurry, are we?”

“Enough deflecting. You already know who I am, so let’s just say a mutual friend of ours clued me into a few...details.” Pierce finally speaks without the distortion and Lucifer allows himself a small smile at being right.

“And what did this...mutual friend of ours have to say, anyways.” Lucifer doesn’t really think Cain will tell him but stalling is always fun.

Pierce grabs onto Lucifer’s shoulder with one hand, while grabbing a chunk of hair with his other, hauling Lucifer’s head back. Lucifer’s glare could cut steel at this point, but he does his best to not make a sound that would alert Pierce to how uncomfortable he is getting. “Well, for starters, she told me that blades forged in the fires of Hell can harm anything, even angels.” As he says this, Lucifer catches a glint of silver out of the corner of his eye and spots a blade sitting on top of his piano. His heart starts beating a little faster, but he does his best to keep it from showing.

“Ooh, up for a little edge play are we? How exciting!” Pierce only sighs. “I’m sorry, ruining the moment am I? Fine, I’ll play along. What was the next thing you were told?” Lucifer responds, doing his best to play Pierce’s little game.

At this question, Pierce’s grip tightens on Lucifer’s shoulder and it’s all Lucifer can do from making any kind of sound that would give him away. “They told me the place you are the weakest. Told me exactly where to find it...and how to draw them out.”

Pierce moves his hand suddenly and presses into Lucifer’s shoulder blade in just the right place and the room is suddenly lit with a celestial glow. Lucifer can only stare ahead in horror as he feels his wings unfurl behind him. A small “no” escapes his lips before he can stop it. His wings stretch out to their full length before settling back again to rest against his shoulders. The weight is familiar on his back, but instead of bringing comfort or anger, Lucifer is terrified.

“Oh yes, dear friend,” Pierce says, walking around to face Lucifer. “You see, the real fun is only just beginning.” Lucifer can only blink at the malice on Pierce’s face and watches as he reaches behind him to the piano and the blade laying on top of it. “Now, where to start. Right...? Or left?”

Lucifer’s face contorts with rage as the anger finally registers and he knows his eyes have flashes to red. “You, sir, are messing with the wrong devil, Cain.” He says, voice deathly quiet.

“I guess we shall see about that.” Cain replies as he walks back behind Lucifer, blade in hand. He grips Lucifer’s right wing in his hand and Lucifer can’t help the shiver that runs through his body.

Cain wastes no more time and starts hacking his way through the wing, as close to Lucifer’s shoulder as he can possibly get. Lucifer’s face is still full of rage and is now mixed with pain as well, but he doesn’t cry out. Cain makes his way completely through the wing, but doesn’t stop, continuing to cut into the skin on Lucifer’s back. “Opps,” he says as the wing falls to the floor, not even making a sound as it lands. Lucifer breathes heavily, trying to regain some control.

“That was fun,” Cain says. “Let’s do it again, shall we?” Lucifer stiffens at his words, waiting for the feeling of the blade again.

“Oh, and did I forget to mention?” Cain says suddenly. “Our mutual friend also told me a little secret.” At this, Cain leans down until his mouth is right next to Lucifer’s ear. “I was told that your wings have been regenerating even faster lately. This night is going to be extra fun.”

As he finishes his sentence, he starts slicing again and this time, Lucifer holds nothing back, angrier than ever before. He rage escapes as a roar while he strains against the ropes. The blade once again slides effortlessly along his back, slicing into his skin again after the wing lands on the floor. Breathing heavily, Lucifer refuses to turn his head and look at them. Looking straight ahead, he catches Cain’s eye in the mirror behind the bar.

“I promise you this, human,” Lucifer spits out. “I will get free, and I will tear you limb from bloody limb from now until the end of eternity.”

Cain only laughs and picks up a piece of clothing from the floor to wipe the demon blade off. “Yea? Well, until that happens, let’s just have ourselves a fun evening, shall we?”

Lucifer only glares ahead, doing everything he can to ignore the screaming pain in his back. “Oh, yes, a fun evening indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of people have mentioned the ropes issue. Writer error is the answer! I honestly didn't think about it and now I have to think about it. An answer will be written in to a later chapter. This is still a WHIP so it will flow and not feel stuffed in!


	2. Chapter 2

The sun is starting to rise over the city of Los Angeles, and it’s light starts to filter in through the windows of Lucifer’s penthouse suite. It bathes everything it touches in it’s golden light, but even the sun can’t make the horrors of the night completely wash away. 

Lucifer blinks against the bright light, grimacing as he raises an arm to his face to block the light. Or at least tries to. As soon as he even makes an attempt to move, his whole body screams out in pain and Lucifer gladly welcomes the darkness that over takes him again. 

It isn’t long before he is being forced awake again, Cain once again slicing through his back. Lucifer doesn’t even know how much untouched skin there is back there anymore and does his best to not think about it. His screams never reach the world, however, yet his throat strains anyways, the pain having become too much for him to handle. 

Once finished, Cain moves to face Lucifer, a blank expression on his face. Lucifer only glares at him, eyes burning even as tears fall silently down his face. “I’ve told you how to make this stop. How to make all this pain go away. All you need to do is give me your word, and we all know that your word is your bond now, isn’t it?” Cain says while holding the bloodied blade up to the light. He stopped wiping it clean hours ago. “Just tell me you’ll stay away from Decker, for good, and this will all be over. You can go back to your life of women and men and drugs and never have to think about this night ever again.”

Lucifer’s glare hardens even farther, saying everything he can’t. Cain had gagged him when Lucifer wouldn’t stop taunting him, and Lucifer has been using his face to say everything his words can’t ever since. 

“Don’t really have much of a self preservation gene, do you?” Cain replies, unfazed by the daggers Lucifer is shooting at him. He moves behind Lucifer again, a fresh wing having unfurled once more, and Lucifer is drawn back to the sweet darkness once again. 

“You know, this isn’t as fun when you pass out.” Lucifer looks at the room in front of him with bleary eyes. His brain tries to register that Cain is once again talking to him, but Lucifer only groans in response. Cain grabs Lucifer by the back of the head, pulling him up and off of the cool tile floor that he has been enjoying off and on lately. “Why won’t you just let this be over?” Cain asks quietly. “Are you just really a masochist who’s just been getting off on all of this?” 

When Lucifer doesn’t make a sound, Cain drops his head back down to the ground none too gently and Lucifer feels himself passing out again. He starts to realize that there’s going to come a point where he doesn’t wake up again, but he’s too tired to really care about that. In fact, it would almost be welcomed at this point...

A loud bang startles Lucifer back to the land of the waking and he tries his best to blink the room back into focus. His brain dully registers the blood that is splattered everywhere you look in the penthouse. Furniture, walls, his bar and piano... All covered in the blood of the fallen angel. Time seems to slow and speed up as he tries to piece together what is happening in front of him. His brain, muddled by pain, and his inability to stay conscious for very long don’t help matters much. 

His elevator opens and a group of people swarm out....Objects are thrown as Cain tries to find an exit....People shouting and being so loud and wont’ they just shut up please and just let me sleep...

“Lucifer...Lucifer!” Hands, gentle hands, brush over his face and he blinks his eyes open once again. The amount of effort it takes grows increasing harder the more he has to do so, and it’s all he can do to keep his eyes open this time. “Oh, God... What’s happened to you...”

That voice... That sweet voice and that golden hair. Concerned blue eyes swim in front of him and he tries to makes sense of why they are filled with tears. The gag is gently removed from his mouth and he is finally able to close his sore jaw for the first time since it was placed there. “Detective...” he hears himself breath out.

“We’re going to need a medic over here!” Chloe yells and Lucifer flinches. Every sound hurts, every motion makes his senses scream again. 

“Detective...” he squeezes out again and Chloe’s eyes are back on him. He holds their gaze as much as he can while the edges of his vision start to darken once again. “Please... don’t cry...” he hears himself say. A lock of hair has fallen in her face and he can see her lips moving but can no longer make out the words. He can feel himself slipping farther away than ever this time and all he wants to do is brush aside that damn lock of hair. As soon as he so much as twitches, pain races throughout his whole body anew, and he finally let’s himself fall into the warm embrace of the darkness. At least there, nothing hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but more coming soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Lucifer groans and blinks slowly. The bright lights surrounding him hurt his eyes and it takes a long moment for him to adjust. He registers a beeping noise off to his right, but doesn’t have the energy to turn and see what is making that noise. As he slowly comes to, he starts to recognize the room as some sort of hospital room and his brain makes the connection to the beeping noise as well.

“Hello, brother.” A deep voice says, and Lucifer’s eyes roam until they find the source.

“Amenadiel,” he says, or at least tries to. His throat is sore and he can barely get the name out.

“Careful, you’ve been out for quite some time.” Amenadiel sits next to the bed that Lucifer is laying in. A glass of water appears in his hand and he helps Lucifer get a small drink from it.

Lucifer sighs and tries again. “What are you doing here, brother?” There is no malice in his words, only exhaustion as he fights to stay awake as long as he can.

“Protecting you... And before you say it, yes I know you don’t need my help.” Amenadiel says as he sees the look building behind Lucifer’s eyes. “It’s just that...You almost died, Luci...”

Lucifer blinks at Amenadiel’s words, and his brain slowly registers just how bad things got between himself and Cain. “Yes, well... that night did seem to stretch on quite some time.”

“Night?” Amenadiel asks in confusion. “Lucifer, you were missing for three days before Chloe and her team could finally get into that penthouse.”

“That’s not funny brother,” Lucifer says, voice even softer.

“Pierce was blocking us from getting in somehow...It took almost completely blowing the door down to even get inside...” Amenadiel’s face falls and Lucifer realizes just how serious his brother is being.

"Us?" Lucifer responds.

"Yes, I was there too. It was...terrible...the sight we endured once those doors opened..." Amendadiel's face falls as his mind wanders back. "Cain sure did a number in three days..."

“No wonder I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. Several times.” Lucifer starts to chuckle at his own words but stops as pain races through him once again.

“Luci,” Amenadiel says, but realizes that Lucifer is much too far gone already. Lucifer dully registers his brother run to the door before returning and saying random things to try and get him to calm down but the pain is too much...much too much...

His back arching off the bed, Lucifer dimly realizes he's screaming, which is only causing his throat to hurt even more, before a nurse can finally make it into the room. They make their way past Amenadiel and Lucifer soon feels himself slip away....

The beeping noise is back again so Lucifer figures he must be waking up again. He’s lying on his side now, facing a wall with a rather large window. It’s night now, so mercifully there’s no light shinning in through the window and someone has dimmed the room’s lights.

Lucifer stays completely still, not wanting to set anything off again. He barely remembers the spasms from when he was last awake, however long ago that was, but still... He catches movement out of the corner of his eye and he registers that someone else is in the room with him. Glancing around, he spots a large, overstuffed chair. Blonde hair and pale skin peak out from under a dully colored blanket.

Chloe sleeps just mere feet away from him. The floor around the chair she sits in is covered in bags full of clothes and other supplies, but Lucifer only has eyes for her. She’s even paler than normal and even in the dim lighting, Lucifer can see the dark circles under her eyes. His heart flutters as she stirs, but she only pulls the blanket closer and continues sleeping.

He spends as much time as he can just watching her, fighting the feeling to slip away again. Lucifer realizes he’s afraid. Afraid she will be gone when he opens his eyes again. He also realizes that he's concerned for her, more so then for himself. Him being here, hurt, is obviously taking a toll on his detective and Lucifer doesn't quiet understand why she's even here in the first place, since they haven't been on the best of terms lately due to all of his normal massive screw ups. As he ponders all of this, the pull of the darkness that is always lurking lately is too strong, and all too soon he is gone again....

“Isn’t there more they can do for him?”

“The doctors are already doing everything they can, Amenadiel.”

“Then maybe they should try harder!”

A loud bang follows these words and Lucifer pulls himself awake in time to see his brother stalking off. He has been moved to his other side and now has a view of the door to his room, complete with yet another large window.

“I’ll go talk to him,” a familiar voice behind him says softly. “Need to do something other than sit right now...”

Lucifer feels his heart stutter as he watches Chloe leave the room, chasing after his brother. After a moment, someone sighs behind him, so Lucifer clears his throat.

“You’re awake..?”

Another person finally swims into view and Lucifer allows himself a small smile. “Doctor Linda...” he says softly.

“Why, hello there. How are you feeling?” she asks. Lucifer cocks an eyebrow in response and Linda immediately gives a sad laugh. “No, not like that, I promise. I guess I should ask: how are you doing?”

Lucifer offers up a slightly bigger smiles. “Still breathing at least, which apparently is a feat in of itself according to the way my brother stormed off earlier.”

Linda only smiles in return. “You’ve got a lot of people scared and worried for you. Detective Daniel has even been by a few times.”

“Probably hoping I croak,” Lucifer jokes, but there’s no malice behind his words. “How long have I been here?” He asks, sobering up. He knows Linda will never hide anything from him. He watches as Linda glances down to her hands that are now folded in her lap. She has finally sat down in the chair next to this side of the bed.

“You’ve been pretty heavily sedated, Lucifer,” she starts out, voice so quiet Lucifer can barely make out the words.

“Well, good on them for finding something strong enough,” Lucifer quips back, but a feeling starts to build in his chest. “How long?” he asks again patiently when she finally looks up. His voice holds so much seriousness that Linda can do nothing but give in to his question.

She sighs heavily once again. “It’s been two months since you were found, Lucifer. You’ve been here for two months.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'll have another chapter up tomorrow or not. It's been hellish at work this week and it's starting to take a toll physically on me...
> 
> I love all the comments though and have read each and every one of them. Thank you so much for all of the support!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some proofreading done before I had to leave for work, so I'm able to put this up tonight! I have new material written as well, so I'll still be able to post tomorrow night as well. Might slow down for a bit over the weekend though, but the next two chapters are going to be a little longer to help make up for that!
> 
> Thank you for all of the support!!

Lucifer only stares at Linda, almost as if he’s waiting for her to say she’s joking. When she continues to say nothing, Lucifer’s chest tightens as the words finally start to sink in. He wracks his brain, trying to figure out how it’s even possible that’s he’s been here for two months and hasn’t healed yet. He asks the same aloud to Linda.

“No one is really sure. We were hoping you could tell us...” Linda says. “We even kept Chloe as far away from the building as we could, but nothing happened...she wouldn’t let us keep her away for forever though, and Amenadiel says that these types of wounds can take ages to heal, even for an angel.” Lucifer just stares at her, as lost as she is. “No weapon was ever found, either.”

“What do you mean there’s no weapon?” Lucifer asks.

“Well, when Pierce saw the elevators open with Chloe standing front and center, he ran.” Linda explains.

“Ran.” Lucifer repeats flatly. “Ran where, exactly? There’s only one exit, besides...”

“The balcony, yes... He jumped and was gone before anyone got there....” Linda says softly. “We only know it was Pierce for sure because Chloe ID’D him immediately.”

“Bloody hell...” Lucifer whispers. “What about the wings all over the place? I’m sure it was a mess in there... And not that I would normally care, since I don’t really try to hid who I am anyways, but...”

“You’re worried that there’s now a giant uproar over the sudden discovery of divinity?” Linda fills in for him. Lucifer gives a small nod. “She had a team with her, yes, but it wasn’t really a...human...team. Turns out Mazikeen had more connections than she’s been letting on...”

Lucifer face darkens, but he decides to file that information away for a later time.

“You’ve been here ever since, mainly because all of the attempts to heal you have been...less than successful.” She then goes on to explain everything the medical team working on his case has tried to do for him, but Lucifer knows none of it would have really worked anyways.

When she finishes, Lucifer has a thought. “Has the detective been here, in this room, the whole time? Other than the one instance you mentioned?”

Linda looks surprised but tilts her head as she thinks back over the last couple of months. “It’s been extremely hard to convince her to leave, especially after Dan did everything he could to keep her away that one time. I’m pretty sure we’ve only gotten her to leave a handful of times to just go home and take a shower, or eat real food for once.”

Lucifer nods his head, and closes his eyes. _Demon steel or not, with her around it would take me forever to heal...but they tried that already as well....I can’t really make her stay away though..not without really hurting her..._ He opens his eyes again and realizes that Linda is waiting for his reply.

“Asking more out of curiosity than anything, I suppose. I assume Amenadiel has tried to fill in some of the gaps, but I’m afraid even he isn’t completely knowledgeable on demon steel as he would like to think...” Linda’s expression only grows more confused and Lucifer realizes that he isn’t helping matters any.

“I see you have even more questions now, my dear doctor. I’m afraid, however, that I’ve reached my limit for this conversation.” As the words leave his mouth, he is already falling back into a world that is dark and comforting. A place where nothing hurts. His breathing grows shallower, and he tries to fight back the feeling of concern for the way Linda now looks at him. “I’m sure I’ll be awake again...sometime soon...” he says slowly. The last thing he sees is Linda smiling at him, attempting to be comforting while a tear escapes her eye.

While he hates spending so much time away from the people who are obviously very worried and concerned for him, Lucifer can’t help but welcome the darkness that keeps finding him with open arms. Every time he wakes up, it seems that he is in even more pain and it’s starting to take a toll on him. At least here, his back is fine, his wings are strong and healthy, and he can fly away from all of the pain that his physical self is having to endure. He doesn’t even think about the pain for Chloe he has been pushing aside.

More time passes, and Lucifer’s lucid moments grow farther and farther apart. He catches glimpses here and there of people milling around his room, of being poked and prodded by doctors of all sorts, but he quickly escapes back to the comfort of his dreams whenever he wakes up to those moments. It’s only when he is alone with Chloe that he fights to stay awake. It isn’t very often that he wakes up with her and only her around anymore. She’s usually always there, being talked to by doctors, being yelled at by Dan for putting all her efforts into him and not something else...but it’s the moments that Lucifer gets to watch her just...sleep that he fights for.

He still hasn’t said anything to her in all the times he has woken up. She’s either busy, or sleeping, and when she’s busy, Lucifer is busy passing back out again. When she’s sleeping, however...Lucifer can’t bear the thought of waking her. It’s the only time she actually looks peaceful, when her face isn’t full of worry or concern....

Lucifer grows aware with each passing day that he’s breaking her heart. The longer he is here, not healing, not getting any better, slipping farther away, the more he is hurting her. And while he cares, he truly does care, he just doesn’t know what to do anymore. He is so tired...so very tired....and just can’t find it in him to fight nearly as hard as he probably should be.

It isn’t for lack of want either. The longer he stays injured, the more his strength wains, and with each passing day, it’s all he can do sometimes to just open his eyes. A dark room and blonde hair always seems to help give him a jolt, the boost he needs to just fight a little extra harder, just to make sure he remembers why he is supposed to be fighting.

He’s spiraling.

Faces grow more and more concerned, and when Lucifer is coherent, he notices that the beeps from the machines seem to be growing slower as the days go on. Chloe looks worse and worse, and Lucifer watches her grow thinner and paler as the days pass on. He knows that he should just give up, should just stay in his own private land of darkness, but he’s always been a little bit selfish. He pulls himself back up to the surface, just long enough to ignite hope in those around him, long enough to feed his own desires....Long enough to break Chloe’s heart just a little more with each passing day.

Struggling back to the surface, Lucifer realizes that there isn’t going to be many more times he can do this. His energy is at an all time low and it’s all he can do to keep from falling back under immediately. Even breathing on his own is becoming a burden he’d rather not have to deal with anymore. He blinks his eyes open, squinting in even the low light, and dimly notices he is once again facing the window that looks out onto the world outside of this building.

The sheets on his bed rustle, and Lucifer looks towards the sound, knowing that it wasn’t him that made it since he never moves anymore when he is lucid. Chloe’s head is lying on the bed next to him, near his stomach. One hand is curled underneath her, cradled against her chest, but the other is on the bed reaching out for one of his hands. Their fingers are mere centimeters apart, and Lucifer feels his breath catch at how close he is to her. In all the times he has woken up to it only being them in the room, she has never been this close to him. She’s only ever been in the chair, at first, and later on the makeshift bed that appeared one day.

Lucifer’s eyes trace over every inch of her, devouring the sight of her so close to him. His fingers twitch, once again longing to sweep a lock of hair out of her face that must have fallen once she dozed off. After contemplating it for long enough, Lucifer uses what little energy he has and finally reaches out to brush the hair away. His back immediately bursts into flames, screaming with every inch he moves, but Lucifer only grits his teeth, determination fighting back the welcome embrace of nothingness.

His fingers lightly brush over Chloe’s face, finally moving that dammed piece of hair out of her eyes. Lucifer runs his fingers through her hair, enjoying the moment as much as he can before it’s over. As the edges of his vision start to go black once again, Chloe’s eyes start to blink open, and Lucifer berates himself for waking her.

She doesn’t move, almost as if she thinks she’s just imagining what is happening. When she does finally look up at him, blue eyes wide, Lucifer lifts the edges of his mouth just slightly. Her head lifts off of the bed, hand coming up to catch his as it starts to fall. She wraps her hand around his, and Lucifer feels himself shudder at the difference in temperature, blearily wondering when had she gotten so warm.“Lucifer....” he hears her whisper as he once again finds enough energy to softly caress her cheek.

“Hello detective...” he squeezes out and Chloe’s eyes grow even larger. “I just needed...to get that ...stupid piece of hair....” he pants, every word an immense struggle. Her eyes are filling now, tears making them seem even bigger. Lucifer fights as much as he can for just a little while longer, using the last of his energy to brush away the first tear that falls down her cheek.

“I’m sorry, love....” he says before finally giving in to the darkness overtaking him. The last thing he sees before everything goes black once again is Chloe reaching out to him, her fingers just inches away from his own face...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a longer chapter, but as some of you know, I have had to write this chapter twice now. My writing program took a crap on me and I lost this entire story. Everything up until this chapter was published, and luckily I had hand written half of this, but the rest of it was something I wrote last night. I'm not as happy with this chapter as I was last night, but I tried to make it as similar as I could remember. 
> 
> It hasn't been proofread yet, but I will get to that and might add more to this later. Thank you again for all of the support!

Lucifer spreads his wings as wide as comfortably possible, catching the warm updrafts as he glides effortlessly through the air. It’s been so long since he’s been able to be in his true form without care that he can’t help the smile on his face. The ecstasy fills him, making him vibrate more than the tiny colored pills ever have as he flies away from all his cares.

He’s no longer the ruler of Hell, no longer the ruler or owner of anything. With nothing to worry about or return to, Lucifer is for once in his long, long life a free angel. Part of him, a part he’s tried desperately to ignore, always resented the decision to remove his wings. While it had always been the ultimate “FUCK. YOU.” to his Father, he had truly missed this.

The landscape remains unchanging as Lucifer soars. A cloudless blue sky overhead, with grassy rolling plains underneath. Lucifer feels at peace and never once questions why he would ever leave. The days stretch on endlessly, one rolling right into the next one as the sun forgets to set.

After a time, Lucifer grows bored of gliding, carefree as it may be, and starts doing flips and twirls through the air. The wind ruffles his feathers as he picks up speed, moving at a dangerously fast pace. It may have been a while since he’s experienced this, but nothing has changed as far as skill level. It all comes back to him instantly.

He gets the urge to go even faster, feeling the need to be as free as he possibly can be. Heart pounding, Lucifer beats his wings with all of his strength. The long appendages pull him through the air as his back strains against the pace. Lucifer’s laughs and noises of joy are stolen by the wind, the rumbling in his chest the only give away to how much he is enjoying himself right now.

As he flaps, ground blurring into a streak of green beneath him, Lucifer’s mind clears, completely empty and devoid of all thoughts. He has no more worries, no more concerns. He has left all of the pesky human emotions behind him, letting nothing break through his euphoria. For the first time in his life, he is completely and totally free.

“...Lucifer....”

Lucifer cocks his head. He looks around, wondering if he might have passed anything in this barren realm. With the speed he is traveling, though, he shouldn’t have been able to hear anything anyways. Shaking his head, Lucifer presses on, kicking up the speed another notch. A few clouds start to appear in the skies above him, streaking his blue sky with trails of white. He considers flying up to them, but they are entirely too far away, so Lucifer puts them out of him mind.

“...Lucifer....please....”

That sound again. Lucifer pulls up short, wings angled to bring him to a full stop while also allowing him to hover. An ache starts in his shoulders and he rolls them, convinced he’s just imaging things. “Who’s there?” he call out. “Show yourself to me!” Looking around him, he suddenly feels foolish. He is alone. He’s always been alone. Stretching his wings out, he takes off again but cannot shake the feeling that he is being watched.

Lucifer throws on the brakes, pulling up just in time to stop himself from slamming into a sheer cliff that has appeared in front of him. “What in the...” he mutters. He looks to his left and right, and his heart starts to pound with a completely different feeling. As far as he can tell from this vantage point, the cliff stretches on in both directions without ending. Steeling himself, he shoots straight up into the air, wings carrying him higher and higher. He’s determined to reach the top of this impossible cliff, but it only continues to stretch on above him. Whatever plateau there might be continues to elude him.

“Please...come back...”

Lucifer loses his balance mid flap and slams straight into the cliff. Rocks graze his shoulder, scraping against him. Lucifer stops himself from crying out and instead looks down at himself. The sight sends him into a blind rage and he turns away from the cliff, racing away from it as fast as possible. After seeing the sight of his human form once again, Lucifer can’t help the anger that’s building inside of himself...along with other emotions he tries to shake off.

“I won’t go back!” He screams towards the skies that are now full of dark, menacing clouds. A gray light has fallen, stealing the bright vibrant colors from the perfect world he has lost himself in.

“I will _never_ return,” he continues to yell, if only to try and chase the thoughts away.

“But why not?” a voice answers and Lucifer once again comes to a screeching halt.

He is hovering in front of himself, a mirror image flying just feet away in front of him. “Why not go back to where you belong?” the figure asks once again.

“This is where I belong!” Lucifer bellows, arms thrown wide to gesture at his once perfect world. “Here, where I can be free!”

His image scoffs. “Freedom? Is that what this is? All I see is a lonely, pitiful creature.”

Lucifer hurls himself at the impostor, throwing everything he has into the motion. He is met with empty air and turns around.

“You can’t catch something that isn’t even real, you do realize this yes?” A smug grin is plastered on his image’s face. “Plus, why would I let myself be captured by such a...broken mess as you?”

Lucifer’s rage builds even more. “Broken? Pitiful?” He spits out, shaking. He opens his mouth to hurl a new insult back, but stops when something white flutters past his face.

“Yes, pitiful. And we both know you’re so broken you can’t even see.” His image taunts.

A shudder runs through Lucifer as an ache starts to grow in his back. “I’ll show you broken,” Lucifer growls before launching himself once again at his tormentor.

This time when he stops, hands once again empty, he’s breathing hard and more feathers float past his face as they slowly float to the ground. The ache in his back grows and he feels as if he is on fire.

“Don’t you have fight left? Anything to actually fight for? Surely you cannot be as dense as you’re letting on right now.” His image continues to taunt. It cocks it’s head at Lucifer. “You clearly no longer care about your reputation, since you’ve given up so easily.”

“Given up?” Lucifer exclaims. His eyes flash red and he once again lunges out, hands outstretched. He’s determined to grab something, anything, but when he comes up empty once again, he yells out in frustration.

“Everyone knows you have, you pathetic excuse for a being. Neither angel nor devil, a man who would rather cut off his own wings than just admit he has issues.” The voice breaks, turning into two, than three. They surround him. “Can’t even find someone to love you, let alone want to be with you for longer than a night. Used over and over again, aren’t you?”

Lucifer puts his hands up to his head and tries to block out the noise. He shuts his eyes and squeezes them tight, doing everything he can to block out the world. He feels himself falling slowly, sinking as more of his feathers melt away from him. “No one will ever love you, you selfish bastard. Only thinking about yourself, thinking of ways to make a name for yourself. Only remembered for things you can’t even control.” Under the voices, Lucifer hears a scream building, and it’s only when his throat starts to hurt that he realizes that he is the one screaming. He tries everything he can to block out the voices, block out the thoughts that are free and hurtling through the air at him over and over again.

“I’m not...I can’t be....I....” Lucifer mutters. He flinches when his wings finally float away from him and he falls to the ground. He lands harshly, hip taking the brunt of his weight on the rocky ground. Tattered ruins give away where what is left of his wings have landed and Lucifer is surrounded by white feathers.

“Couldn’t be the perfect son, couldn’t be a ruler with nothing to rule, and now you can’t even fight back against yourself. No wonder everyone eventually gives up on you.” His image is back to just one voice, floating over him as he hovers.

Lucifer scrabbles back until he is pressing against the rocky cliff that now presses against him on all sides. His image lowers himself to the ground and stands over Lucifer. “You will never be anything more than a failure.”

Heart pounding, Lucifer looks up at himself. His breaths come in gasps and it is all he can do to hold on.

“Please, Lucifer... Please...”

That voice again. Lucifer’s ears strain to hear the soft, comforting voice. Steeling himself, he braces against the ground and mentally counts to ten. Snarling, he lunges once more for the image standing in front of him and finally gets his hands on him, knocking them both to the ground.

“I have her,” he says, before his body gives out and he falls over. He shuts his eyes against the cliffs that are continuing to press against him, hoping to only hear that voice once more. He can’t breath, and vaguely feels his throat start to constrict. He’s choking and doesn’t know what to do to stop it. Panic truly sets in as he once again hears that voice call out.

“We need some help in here!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind words on the last chapter!

“Please, we need help!”

Lucifer chokes again, his throat doing everything it can to dislodge whatever foreign object has made itself home there. He opens his eyes and is immediately blinded by a harsh artificial light. Blinking rapidly to try and adjust, he notices a blurry figure appear. Hands are suddenly flitting around his mouth and he gags as something smooth is pulled from his throat. 

As soon as his airway is clear, Lucifer takes a big gasp of air and immediately regrets his decision. His eyes start to water as his chest racks with heavy, wet coughs. Another figure enters his line of sight, and Lucifer quickly tries to blink back the tears. 

“Shh...you’re ok, just breathe..”

It’s the same voice from earlier and Lucifer’s heart stops as a face finally comes into focus. “Chloe,” he gasps out between coughs.

Why had it taken him so long to realize it was her all this time? Why was he just now recognizing the all too familiar voice, one that continues to sooth him as his coughs finally die down. He takes a steady sip of water from the glass that Chloe hands him, and feels his throat finally relax. 

“See? Everything is fine,” Chloe says as she hovers over him. Her hand is in his hair once she takes the glass back, fingers running through his loose curls. He leans into her touch, feeling himself relax without really thinking about it. “It’s going to be ok...”

Lucifer can only stare at her as fresh tears appear, ones that have little to do with his earlier coughing fit. 

“You’re here...” he whispers in the quiet room.

“I’m here,” she responds, and whether or not she understands how much those words mean to him, Lucifer vows to repay her for them for the next millennium. 

His eyes flick over her, drinking in every part of her. He jumps slightly as a thumb runs over his cheek and realizes that his eyes have done more than just start to water. Chloe sits down on his bed, and Lucifer silently thanks her for not making more out of him crying. His hand scrabbles over the blankets on the bed, but she beats him to it. Her slender fingers wrap around his own and Lucifer clutches her in return. He holds on to her tightly, needing to be anchored, needing to know this is real. 

As his breathing finally starts to slow down and his chest stops pounding so painfully, Lucifer realizes he’s been staring at his detective. “You look like shit,” he blurts out, voice soft.

Chloe’s lips twitch and she narrows her eyes at him. “Yeah? Well at least I’ve showered recently. You smell as bad as some of the men Maze has slept with.” 

The both continue to stare at each other before finally breaking at the same time. Grins split both of their faces and Lucifer can’t help the flutter in his chest when he sees her smile. All too quickly, Chloe’s face falls again and Lucifer gives her hand a gentle squeeze. 

“We thought we were going to lose you...” she finally whispers so softly, Lucifer barely catches the words. Lucifer’s heart aches at the pain in her voice. He pulls on her hand until she starts to tip towards him. He is once again laying on his back, so her head lands gently on his chest. Chloe arranges herself on the bed so she’s the one laying on her side as Lucifer wraps an arm around her. 

“I’m sorry I worried you,” he says gently. “That was never my intention...”

Chloe nods her head and both of them fall silent, staying in the moment for as long as possible. A doctor eventually returns to the room and Lucifer questions for a moment whether he knows the man or not. 

Chloe doesn’t take her eyes off of him once she moves off of the bed, almost as if she’s worried he’ll disappear again. Throughout the doctor’s examination, Lucifer continues to hold her hand, even though she hasn’t gone far from him. When shes makes no move to pull away from him either, Lucifer realizes how much they need each other to be real right now. 

Once the doctor gives his all clear the two of them are once again alone. Lucifer gives a quick glance to the window behind Chloe, trying to orientate himself in anyway possible as he looks outside. He almost sighs to himself in relief when he doesn’t see blue skies. “It’s late, isn’t it?” he asks Chloe. 

She hesitates and then nods slowly. “Yeah, it’s after 2am actually. You’ve always been a night owl haven’t you.” Lucifer gives her a small smile for her teasing. “That’s the doctor on night duty tonight, so we shouldn’t be bothered again until morning.”

“Good.” Lucifer says and before Chloe can ask why, Lucifer pulls her back down to the bed until she is lying in the same position as earlier again. His arm once again wraps gently around her as she nuzzles against his chest. “Sleep, detective,” he murmurs softly to her. 

“But-” she starts to protest, panic apparent in her voice as she raises her head to look at him. Lucifer gently presses her head back down. 

“I promise, I’ll still be here in the morning. And the afternoon. And the day after that. Please,” he begs, voice even softer. “Sleep...”

Chloe stills and after a few moments, finally relaxes. It isn’t long before her breathing evens out and Lucifer releases a sigh. Burying his nose in her hair, Lucifer feels himself drifting off as well, and for the first time in months, falls asleep on his own terms.

Lucifer awakes to an empty room with sunlight filtering in softly through the blinds that now cover the window. After lying still for a moment, he cautiously stretches, bracing for the pain to blind him, but his back only throbs slightly. He rolls his shoulder, relishing the feeling of joints popping that haven’t been used in what feels like years. 

An hour or so passes and people start to filter in and out of his room throughout the day. The same doctor from the night before eventually comes in and cheeks on him. When Lucifer asks about the state of his back, he’s met with an odd answer. “It’s finally healing.” After months of lying in a bed, Lucifer’s back has finally decided to start to heal and nobody bloody knows why. Lucifer only rolls his eyes and allows himself to be examined for the third time so far. 

“Being a model patient?” A voice calls from the doorway and Lucifer turns to see Detective Dan standing there with a smug grin on his face. 

“Oh, absolutely,” Lucifer says, sarcasm dripping from his lips. He and Dan share a smile as the doctor finally leaves. “Upset I’m still around? Come to finish the job?” Lucifer jokes as Dan makes his way into the room and takes a seat next to the bed. 

“Nah, figured it wouldn’t be beneficial to my health.” Dan replies as he leans into the back of the chair. Lucifer only raises an eyebrow at him. “What? We both know how good of a cop Chloe is. No way I could ever hide from her. Especially since she’s the one who sent me over here to check on you.”

At this, Lucifer chuckles. “Finally get her to go home for a bit now that I’m not dead?” Lucifer asks. Dan nods his head in agreement. 

“Yeah, she just ran back to wash some clothes and catch up with Trixie for a little while. You not dying kinda helped with that.” Lucifer again chuckles and the two of them fall into a quick banter as Dan tells him about a case he’s wrapping up. “Too many dead ends at the moment on another case I’m trying get a break in. Needed to take my mind off of it for a few days and hopefully I can come back to it with a fresh mindset.”

“No leads on Pierce then I take it.” Lucifer states and Dan’s face falls. 

“Figured out I’m the one on point, did ya?” Dan says and let’s out a sigh. “The man has straight up disappeared on us. Like he’s a freaking ghost or something.”

“Not a ghost no, but definitely a something. Just knows how to bury himself deep.” They catch each others eye and the conversation stalls. “How is Chloe really doing?” Lucifer finally asks. 

Dan runs his hand over his face. “I’m not really sure. We haven’t really talked much since...”

“Said something you didn’t really mean to?” Lucifer supplies when Dan runs out of words. 

Dan lowers his eyes to his hands that are wringing themselves in his lap. “I know she’s only worried about you. We all have been. I’ve just....never dealt with stress very well and I took it out on her at a time that I really shouldn’t have...”

Lucifer waits until Dan looks up again. His face hides the pain that his eyes cannot and Lucifer knows he is well and truly sorry. “Have you tried apologizing to her?”

“Yeah, but you know how she can be.” Dan replies, words soft. 

Lucifer knows that Dan still cares for Chloe and tries to do right by her, something they both struggle with. “I’ve pissed her off more than my fair share of times. I’ve learned that while she is strong and has the will power to make a mountain move if she so wished, she does eventually forgive if it’s sincere. She has a lot of her own pain and struggles going on. Give her a little time, and when you do apologize, be sincere and leave out the excuses.” Lucifer explains gently. 

Dan stays quiet for a long while and Lucifer sees the gears spinning in his mind. When he does finally speak, Lucifer isn’t disappointed. “I hate you,” Dan says and a few seconds later a grin breaks out on his face. 

“Well, you wouldn’t be Detective Douche if you liked me,” Lucifer throws back at him, his own face splitting into his traditional shit-eating grin. 

“I’m glad you’re back, Lucifer.” Dan says while standing. 

“That’s a first. Can I get that in writing?” Lucifer teases. Dan only puts a hand on his shoulder in farewell before taking off. Lucifer relaxes back into his pillows, determined to take a quick nap before Chloe comes back, when he senses someone else in the room. 

“Forget something Da-” Lucifer stops as he takes in the person standing before him. 

“Maze...”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've all been asking. So here she is folks!

Maze stands in the doorway to Lucifer’s room and Lucifer tilts his head as he tries to figure out the expression on her face. Neither one of them moves, and Lucifer decides to wait her out, noticing she seems to be seriously processing something. When she does finally speak, Lucifer has to strain to hear her.

“You’re awake.... They told me... I thought you were....” Her sentences fall brokenly from her lips as she fights to put her thoughts into words.

“I’m here,” Lucifer says and that’s good enough for Maze to take a cautious step into the room.

“They told me you were dying...” she whispers as she walks towards him “That you’d be gone by...” she breaks off again, unable to finish that thought.

“Still alive and kicking I’m afraid,” Lucifer says as Maze finally reaches the side of the bed. She gingerly reaches out for him and Lucifer grabs her hand in his own.

As soon as they touch, Maze releases the breath she’s been holding and her shoulder start to relax. “It’s really you,” she squeezes out and Lucifer tightens his grip on her hand.

Lucifer starts to open his mouth to say something, but is cut off by a slug to his shoulder. “That’s for scaring me,” Maze grumbles out.

“Bloody hell, Maze,” Lucifer says while rubbing his shoulder. “Punching a man who apparently almost died? Really?”

Maze only lifts an eyebrow at him. Lucifer mutters under his breath while continuing to rub his shoulder gingerly.

“It’s all my fault.” Lucifer stops as Maze’s whispered words reach his ears. She’s looking down at the floor when Lucifer looks up at her and if he didn’t know any better, Lucifer would think those were tears in her eyes.

“Well, Pierce already admitted the blade was demon steel, so I figured you had a hand in all of this. Not that I’ve told anyone that,” he quickly tacks on when he sees the worry start to form on her face. “I’m not sure why you did it, but I obviously did something to upset you.”

Maze sighs and Lucifer thinks back to their last conversation. “Consolation prize,” he whispers and Maze bristles next to him. “Is that why...?”

Maze huffs and Lucifer can see her walls building back up around her. “All I ever do is hurt people or get hurt by people,” she starts. “I finally find a life that actually feels like a....home...and yet...”

“You’ve never felt more alone?” Lucifer supplies and Maze winches. “Maze,” he says.

“Maze,” he calls again when she doesn’t respond, waiting for the demon to finally look at him. “There are no consolation prizes, or any type of prizes. You are always going to be a part of my life.”

“And yet, you only want me when something goes wrong in your life.” Maze spits out.

Lucifer sighs. “I’m not saying I’m perfect, Maze.” She scoffs. “Truly, I am trying to figure this life out as much as you are. And I run to you when things go bad because I know I can trust you. I can count on you to always be there.”

“I just...I feel like that’s all I’m good for anymore.” Maze explains. “To be your solider to bitch at when your life sucks at a particular moment.”

“I’m sorry.” Lucifer simply says. “You’re my ride or die, Mazikeen. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have you.”

Maze glances back down, the fire in her eyes starting to die down. “I never thought he was going to go this far... I just thought you guys were going to have your pissing contest and be done with it. When Chloe finally got a message through to me, you had already been missing for three days.”

“Linda said you had a team.” Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “Raise an army to find me?” He asks, wiggling the same brow.

“Just because I can’t return to Hell doesn’t mean I don’t still have my contacts.” Maze blinks and by the look on her face, Lucifer knows she’s seeming something other than the room they are in.

“Talk to me Maze,” Lucifer gently coaxes when Maze continues to stare.

“Pierce barricaded Lux somehow....” Maze says, voice soft and without it’s usual edge. “It took some finagling, but we got the supplies to blow the door down finally. Sorry about that,” she adds as an after thought.

Lucifer waves his free hand, his other still holding hers. “It’s just a door. Was never particularly found of it anyways if we’re being perfectly honest.”

“Right...Well, I tried to get Chloe to stay behind but she insisted. I tried to protect her. We cleared the club and knew whatever was going on was happening upstairs.” Maze’s eyes glaze over even further. “I never would have imagined the scene we saw once the elevator doors opened.”

Lucifer gives her a moment, his own fuzzy memories enough to make him shudder whenever he thinks back on it.

“If I had known what was behind those doors, I would have tied your detective to a table.” Maze takes a deep breath. “There was blood everywhere. Covering everything. It looked more like my torture room than your penthouse. And the wings...” she trails off and shakes herself. “Pierce jumped off of the balcony before I could get over to him. Chloe ran to you immediately.”

“Yes, I do remember that. One of the few parts of that night I was coherent for.” Lucifer mumbles, remembering Chloe’s face as she swam into view. “I take it she saw all the wings everywhere,” he states, a hint of sarcasm coloring his words.

“Lucifer, there was one still attached to your back when she ran to you.” Maze says and Lucifer looks up when he hears the horror in her voice, his mouth gaping slightly. “It was hanging on by threads, like Pierce was in the middle of hacking it off when we got there.”

Lucifer feels the breath leave his body and his stomach rolls as he imagines the sight. “She saw all of that....”

“She cradled you as I finished the job.” Maze tells him, voice flat. “She wouldn’t let you go and I had to get the stupid thing off. Dan was arriving soon and my team was trying to clear out the wings before even more humans showed up.”

Nodding, Lucifer let’s out a heavy sigh. “No wonder she won’t leave my side,” Lucifer responds, voice so soft Maze almost pulls herself out of her daze.

“She never once cried after you passed out. She just held you until Dan showed up with the paramedics. He had to practically pry her arms off of you so they could do their jobs. You were transported here and well...” Maze trails off.

“And here we are,” Lucifer states for her. Maze only nods. “Well, I appreciate you filling in some gaps for me. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that...”

“How can you sit there and apologize to me when it’s all my fault this happened in the first place?” Maze asks confusedly.

“Pierce and I would have had our pissing match one way or the other. At least now we know where we truly stand with each other, and Chloe now sees him for the man he is...” Lucifer’s voice is full of malice for the man.

The pair falls silent, both too lost in their thoughts to speak. “I’m sorry I didn’t get in there sooner,” Maze finally whispers and Lucifer pulls himself away from his thoughts to look at her.

“Mazikeen...” he says softly.

She angrily swipes at her face. “Stupid human emotions.” Lucifer gives her a sad smile, but let’s it go.

“So, where have you been all this time?” Lucifer asks, needing to change up the conversation.

“Hunting.” Maze replies through gritted teeth.

“Well, Maze. I have only one thing to say.” He pauses and Maze glances at him. Lucifer’s eyes flash red and a smile starts to tug at her lips.

“ _Hunt_.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing as always with the comments! I read every single one even if I don't respond. 
> 
> Also, I post these at night after I get home from work so it's really a wonderful way to start my day, seeing everyone's comments first thing in the morning! You guys rock :D
> 
> This story is also at over 200 kudos and almost 3K hits! Thank you so much for each and every one of them!

After discussing how to track Pierce, since Maze hasn’t had any luck the past few months, she leaves soon after Lucifer gives her his full support. Lucifer once again settles into his pillows. The room has grown warm in the afternoon heat and Lucifer feels himself getting drowsy. It isn’t long after Maze leaves that he falls asleep, finally able to take a nap.

His dreams bring up memories from the night before and even in his sleep, Lucifer’s chest grows warm as the detective curls up next to him.

“I’m really have you’re back...” Dream Chloe says.

“Yes, always nice, not dying.” Lucifer replies.

Chloe chuckles and raises up on an arm. “Especially since it means I get to finish you off myself,” she says, voice pitched. Before Lucifer can say anything, dream Chloe pulls out a blade from somewhere and Lucifer cries out as she brings it down.

Lucifer’s eyes fly open, his chest heaving. He looks around the room and is almost relieved he is alone, but the feeling only lasts for a moment. _You’ll always be alone..._ his mind whispers to him and Lucifer sighs, shoving the voice aside.

“Hey you. You awake?”

Lucifer turns towards the sound and feels his breath catch at the sight of Chloe standing in the doorway. The light from the hallway behind her bathes her in a glow that makes her blonde hair shine even more brightly than normal.

“Ah, yes,” he tells her, finally finding his words. “Just a quick nap. Lot’s of visitors.”

“Oh yeah? I heard Dan stopped by.” Chloe walks into the room and takes her spot in the chair next to his bed.

“Maze was here as well.” Lucifer watches as a hopeful smile appears on her face. “Thank you for getting through to her. I owe you for that...”

“I’m just happy she came.” Chloe sighs. She leans back into her chair and Lucifer feels himself lose his train of thought...

“Lucifer?” Chloe calls, hand on his arm. He jumps slightly, and realizes he’s been staring off into the distance, his dream playing over in his mind. “You ok?” she asks when she sees the look on his face.

“Honestly? Not entirely.” Lucifer tells her, knowing he’s always been bad at hiding really anything from her. “Bad dreams,” he supplies when she raises an eyebrow at him.

“That, I can understand. Actually, come to think of it, last night was the first time in months I haven’t had one.” Lucifer picks up on the meaning behind her words and feel his chest tighten. He glances down.

“Detective I-” he starts.

“If you’re about to apologize, don’t you dare. You’ve got enough on your plate right now without feeling guilty for something you didn’t even do.” Chloe scolds.

When Lucifer doesn’t look up, Chloe leans forward and grabs his hand in hers. “This is apology enough. The fact that you have a heartbeat and we are sitting here talking.”

Lucifer can’t help but smile at her words and the two of them spend the next hour or so just catching up. Chloe goes over everything he’s missed since the attack, including many Trixie stories. Night starts to fall outside and Chloe excuses herself to the bathroom to change her clothes.

Lucifer closes his eyes while he waits for her, trying not to fall back asleep. Who knew visitors were actually kind of exhausting? He didn’t even bother making a joke to Chloe about her not needing to leave to change her clothes. As he starts to drift off, a loud commotion in the hallway outside his room catches his attention. His eyes instantly fly open and Lucifer feels every nerve firing, his tiredness leaving instantly.

As he tries to get a glimpse of what’s going on, a body slams in to the window with a crash and the glass cracks. Lucifer looks towards the bathroom door and sees Chloe standing there with her gun drawn. He tires to mouth to her to get back in the room, but she only shakes her head, lips pressed into a firm line.

Lucifer throws his head back on the pillows in frustration as another bang happens in the hallway. Going against what every person in the medical field says whenever this happens in the movies, Lucifer rips off the last few wires connected to him and gently pulls his IV out. His stomach rolls at the pain and he fights off a lovely wave of nausea.

Chloe’s glare hardens as she watches him, but she makes no movement other than to roll her eyes. She has the perfect vantage point to take a shot once the door opens, but if Lucifer’s hunch is correct, it really won’t matter if she gets in a shot or not. The door finally flies open, and in the same instant, Lucifer is out of bed, blocking Chloe from any harm.

“Damn, so you really are still kicking.” Pierce’s lazy voice drawls from the doorway. “Figured you would have moved on by now, but I had to follow your little demon friend to be sure.”

Lucifer feels himself tense up and does his best to hide the tremor that’s running through him. Healing or not, Lucifer’s back is screaming at the sudden movement and he does his best to ignore the trickling feeling.

“Such a lovely surprise. Stopped by to leave flowers and a balloon did you?” Lucifer says, but there’s no joking lit to his voice.

“Well, I was going to bring a card, but the shop doesn’t carry anything about assholes with wings dying and going wherever it is you would go so....” Pierce shrugs and Lucifer watches as his eyes flick over his shoulder. “Look who else is here,” Pierce says and Lucifer tenses up. “Hello, Detective.”

“Put down the gun, Pierce,” Chloe responds and Lucifer knows she’s gotten closer to him. She’s still behind him though, but Lucifer knows he has to stop her from coming any closer.

“Why would I do something like that?” Pierce asks and Lucifer finally notices the weapon in Pierce’s hand. “You see, our pal here went back on a deal we had. Since I’m not getting what I want, I guess I can take away what he wants.”

Time sees to slow for Lucifer. Pierce raises his arm, aiming over Lucifer’s shoulder at Chloe. Chloe starts to try and move Lucifer, thinking Pierce is aiming for him, but Lucifer stands his ground. A light appears in the room and Lucifer’s wings raise, shielding Chloe from Pierce.

A loud bang reverberates around the room and Lucifer watches as Pierce falls to the ground. A sharp pain starts to build in his shoulder, making Lucifer’s breath catch in his chest. Grabbing on to the cabinet next to him, Lucifer grits his teeth against the pain.

“Lucifer!” Chloe exclaims, finally shoving his wings aside to come around to his front, gun still raised in front of her. She needn’t worry, however. Pierce is lying face down on the ground, his gun feet away from him. A booted foot holds him firmly in place.

“Mazikeen, always to the rescue.”

“Somebody has to be around to protect your sorry ass around here.” Maze says, twisting Pierce’s arm behind his back. Pierce only groans.

“Thank you, Maze,” Lucifer tells her before slowly sinking to the ground. Chloe is at his side instantly, hand already putting pressure against his shoulder.

“You know, this whole getting shot thing sucks. A lot.” Lucifer smiles softly and Chloe can’t up but release a breathy chuckle at his words.

He watches her face as her eyes travel over his wings and he can see her get drawn into them. Her eyes glaze over the longer she looks at them and Lucifer knows she’s getting lost. “Chloe..” he says softly, and she blinks, coming back to herself.

“Sorry...they’re just....” she starts.

“I know...” he rolls his shoulders and they disappear. He gives Chloe a soft smile. “We can talk about it later, I promise.”

Chloe returns his smile before giving him a soft shove. “Always trying to be a hero.” She says and laughs at the look on his face. “You’re going to be ok.” She glances at his shoulder again. Lucifer looks over to Maze and sees the fire in her eyes as she thinks of ways to deal with Pierce. He looks back to Chloe, her eyes full of concern for him. He sighs, leaning his had back against the cabinet.

“Detective?” He asks, eyes closed.

“Yeah?” Chloe says as she grabs on of his hands.

“I really just want to go home now.” He opens one eye and looks at her.

After a pause, they both giggle. A doctor finally makes their way past Maze and Chloe moves aside so they can look Lucifer over. “I think I can arrange that,” Chloe tells him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Lucifer closes his eye again. They have a lot to discuss, but Lucifer knows it can wait for another day. Right now, he’s just happy to know that everyone in is life is ok, and life can go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last bit of housekeeping for this chapter.
> 
> I know this could really pass as an ending for this story, but I promise, it's just a nice little segue into the next part of the story. There will be more tomorrow!


	9. Chapter 9

After another week, Lucifer finally gets to go home. Grumbling about how long he was kept for a hole in his shoulder, he rolls the window down in Chloe’s car. He can’t help the smile that appears on his face as the wind whips by. He sees Chloe glance over at him out of the corner of his eye and reaches over to grab her hand. He gives it a gentle squeeze and an even bigger smile, happy to be finally going home.

Instead of being in a hospital, like Lucifer thought, he had been being kept in a long term care facility that was owned and run by a pair of doctors he had made deals with ages ago. Linda and Chloe had talked them into keeping the whole thing quiet, reminding them of Lucifer’s devilish “IOUs” and both doctors quickly agreed to help.

“Funny thing is,” Lucifer told Chloe after she finished explaining the story. “I barely even remember the two of them. Oh well. That’s one way to collect, I guess.”

Chloe had only rolled her eyes and handed him the packet of information Lucifer supposedly needed to take home. Soon after, they were leaving the place behind and two doctors suddenly found it a bit easier to breathe.

The pair do not say much on the ride home. Lucifer is content enough to feel the wind on his skin after being cooped up for so long. His mind starts to bring up memories of a different wind on his face, but Lucifer pushes them aside, determined to just enjoy the moment. Chloe for her part, can’t keep the smile from her face, happy to also be leaving the facility behind after spending so much time there.

It isn’t long before Chloe is pulling up to Lux, parking in it’s unusually empty parking garage. Other than Lucifer’s Corvette, there’s nothing else in the garage. Lucifer feels his chest tighten and he takes a deep breath. It’s just now hit him where he is and when the last time he was there.

“You ok?” Chloe asks softly. When Lucifer doesn’t answer, she settles into her seat, giving him a chance to process. Her thumb continuously rubs tiny circles into the back of his hand.

Lucifer stares out of the window to his right, eyes glazing over as his mind whirls through the flashes of memories he has. So much of them are only flashes, moments of lucidness interspersed with searing pain that never goes away. He realizes he’s spiraling and his breathing picks up as he tries to get out of it but can’t.

The view outside the window disappears and he’s jarred back to life as Chloe pulls him into her arms. He never even saw her move...

“Just breathe... I’m here, you’re here. Not there.” Chloe murmurs into his ear. Lucifer pulls himself away form his thoughts and does everything he can to just listen to her. Time passes and he eventually finds his breath again.

“Thank you...” he finally says when his chest isn’t as tight.

Chloe doesn’t say anything in response and Lucifer silently thanks her again, not wanting to bring even more attention to it. She slowly pulls back, giving him the option to let go or continue to hold on, but Lucifer let’s her, and his arms immediately feel too empty. He takes a deep breath and climbs out of the car.

Chloe looks at him before holding out her hand. “You know me too well,” Lucifer says gratefully before taking the offered hand.

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’ve had some practice.”

“This is true.” Lucifer responds before looking over at the elevator doors.

“Ready?” Chloe asks after a few moments. “We can go check out the club first, make sure it all looks ok, if you want.”

Lucifer feels himself relax slightly at the suggestion. “Yes, let’s do that. I do honestly miss that cesspool.” He gives her a cheeky grin and starts to head towards the elevator.

Chloe gives a small laugh and Lucifer realizes this is just as hard for her as it is for him. He stills himself as he reaches for the button. Words escape them both and Lucifer leads her in once the door opens. A short ride later and Lucifer is met with a familiar sight and starts to relax even more.

After walking out of the elevator, Chloe let’s go of his hand as he soaks in a little bit of home. The lights are not fully on, but it’s enough to still show the character of the place. Lucifer heads down the stairs and over towards his piano. A wave washes over him and he feels the smile melt off of his face as his hands trail over the keys. It’s all too familiar...

He sits down and plays the first few notes of the same song he played that night but he can’t bring himself to actually sing any of the words this time. The music slips away and he takes a deep breath. He hears steps behind him and Chloe’s hand lands gently on his shoulder. She doesn’t sit, so Lucifer feels himself lean into her touch. When he leans far enough back, his head lands against her own shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Detective...” he whispers. “It’s all just a little...much.”

“It’s ok. We have all the time in the world.” Chloe tells him, and Lucifer knows she now understands just how true that really is for him. Well, unless someone decides to go crazy with a demon blade again.

He closes his eyes and just tries to enjoy being near her. If only one good thing comes out of this whole mess, Lucifer is glad it’s that he is learning to just appreciate being in the moment.

It isn’t long before he opens his eyes again, knowing he has to face the rest of this day eventually. He gently pulls away from Chloe and the piano, heading over towards the bar. He hasn’t had anything with alcohol in it in months and his stomach kind of rolls at the thought of consuming anything right now. Still, he grabs a glass and a random bottle anyways, if only to have the familiar weight in his hand.

“Day drinking?” Chloe asks with a smile as she makes her way over to him. She raises an eyebrow when she notices he hasn’t actually taken a sip yet.

“Something like that,” Lucifer responds, thoughts back on his elevator and the next stop he has to make. “Kind of nice to just be holding something.” Chloe rolls her eyes before holding her hand out for his free hand. “Ah, point taken,” he says before taking the offered hand.

They both stare ahead to the elevator ahead of them, neither one willing to be the first to move. Lucifer finally sets his shoulders and leads the two of them towards the metal door. The ride to the Penthouse has never felt longer.

The door glides open and Lucifer releases a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in. His penthouse looks like it always does; clean lines, sparkling bar, and pristine windows over looking the city. Chloe gives his hand a squeeze.

“I was expecting it to be...” Lucifer starts.

“Different?” Chloe finishes for him.

His lips twitch and he leads the way out of the elevator. He let’s go of Chloe’s hand and trails his now empty one over the bar top once he reaches it. The smooth surface feels just as it always has and Lucifer once again feels himself relax. He sets the drink down he still hasn’t touched and turns to look around again.

 _Right there,_ a voice says. _That’s where you gave up._

“Stuff it,” Lucifer mutters.

“What was that?” Chloe asks.

Lucifer glances over at her and sees a face full of worry. Even though this can’t be easy for her, she’s still more concerned for him. Lucifer gives her a soft smile before holding out a hand to her. She takes it and Lucifer gently pulls her his way. Once she is close enough, Lucifer wraps her in his arms and buries his face in her hair.

Chloe’s arms come up around him and for a moment, they lose themselves in each other. It isn’t the first time Lucifer has had to recently admit how much he needs her, but it’s definitely an even stronger feeling today, being back in this place.

“You know,” Chloe says after a beat. “We don’t have to do this yet. I know we’re already up here, but we can turn right back around and leave if you want.” She’s once again giving him an out and Lucifer almost takes it this time.

_Can’t face what happened, can you?_

Lucifer finally releases Chloe and walks over to his piano. “Lucifer...” Chloe says softly.

He almost answers her, but stops when he really looks at the piano. “It’s...” A new memory surfaces and it’s just a flash.

Lucifer is backed up against a wall and Pierce spins him, throwing him face first into the brick to once again slice him a part. Lucifer fights it as best as he can, which only angers Pierce, especially when he doesn’t get the reaction he is looking for. Once the wing falls, Pierce throws Lucifer and he crashes into his piano, shattering it.

“I know it’s not the exact same one, but we got as close as we could...” Chloe says somewhere behind him.

Lucifer swallows and plucks out a few notes on the ivory keys. He closes his eyes as the sounds wash over him. “It’s perfect, Detective.” He lowers the cover for the keys and turns to look at her.

Chloe stands in the same spot she was when he walked away from their hug, tears clouding her eyes. It only takes Lucifer a few steps to close the distance between the two of them, and he reaches a hand up to cup her cheek.

_She’s disgusted by you. She knows you gave in, that you wanted to_

Lucifer shakes his head slightly, banishing the voices once more. “I’m sorry,” Chloe tells him while wiping her face.

“Whatever for?” Lucifer asks, genuinely confused.

“You have enough to worry about right now, being back here. You don’t need me crying on top of it.” She gives a sad laugh and tries to pull away form Lucifer’s touch.

Lucifer surges forward and envelopes her in his arms once again. “There’s no one I would rather be here right now.” His voice is soft. After a few beats, Chloe’s shoulders start shaking and Lucifer holds her closer. The longer they stay here, they harder this is for him, but he knows he needs to face this and he can’t do it without her.

“Have I told you yet,” he whispers to her as one hand rubs softly over her back. “That seeing you is the last thing I remember from that night. That I knew, in that moment, that everything was going to be ok, because you were there.”

At his words, Chloe starts to pull away slightly, just enough to look up at him. She blinks back a few tears and Lucifer finds himself getting lost in the blue depths of her eyes. He opens his mouth, on the verge of saying something, but Chloe reaches up to him and Lucifer feels himself bend to meet her.

Surrounded by the memories of that terrible time, Lucifer presses his lips against Chloe’s and feels a warmth grow in him, pushing aside the fear just a little bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's maybe a little more dark and twisty than he's letting on........


	10. Chapter 10

It’s a soft kiss, close to the one they shared on the beach, born more out of a need to express something that words never could. Lucifer is the first to pull away, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. He places a gentle kiss on Chloe’s cheek and then rests his forehead on her shoulder. All too soon, he’s pulling away again.

“Good?” She asks, and Lucifer can feel the meaning behind the words.

Lucifer takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders. He starts to square them before remembering who he’s with, remembering he doesn’t need to put on a front for her.

“Not really,” he finally answers. “But, I think this is about as good as it’s going to get for the time being. All things considered.” Lucifer watches as Chloe’s shoulders relax and allows his own to do the same.

Lucifer slowly walks around the big space, letting everything hit him as he goes. His mind keeps expecting to see blood with every turn, but the place is spotless. His mind starts slipping as the memories wash over him all at once and he feels his steps stutter.

 _You really think she believes you? Believes that you’re this strong, powerful being you want her to think you are?_ The voice spits at him. _You’re nothing. You’re just a pathetic excuse for an angel_

Lucifer shakes his head and catches Chloe’s eye across the room. His vision starts to blur and a hand flies out to catch hold of the couch as the room spins around him.

_You didn’t even fight back, so desperate for someone to finally end it all. You wanted Pierce to finish you off. Thought you finally found someone who would actually do it_

“I...please...” He’s sinking to the ground, legs giving out underneath him. His knees send a shock through him as they hit the tile floor hard, but it’s not enough to shock him out of his own head. He can’t catch his breath, can’t see straight as the voice hammers him over and over again with the thoughts he’s been too afraid to admit he’s been having.

Lucifer feels himself being pulled deeper and deeper into his head and he’s terrified.

“Hey, hey, talk to me,”

Chloe is right there. Right in front of him.

_She knows_

“Come on, come back to me,”

She’s shaking him by the shoulder, trying to get him to focus.

_She knows you’re just a fraud_

“Lucifer you’ve got to fight this,”

Her voice is so desperate and scared as she watches him slip away even more.

_She’s so disappointed in you. Only here because you’re too much of a baby to have let Pierce end it_

“Please, Lucifer, please,”

“I can’t,” he chokes out. She’s right in front of him but his eyes stare past her, seeing a different scene entirely. “I can’t fight the voices.”

He’s being crushed by cliffs again as his image towers over him, taunting him with every word.

Chloe’s hand is in his hair now as she presses him against her chest. She pulls always his hands that have somehow found their way there, gently pulling his fingers away from where they are latched. Her fingers thread through his hair as her other hand snakes around his back. She grips his shoulder tightly and holds him hard, as if she’s afraid he will literally crumble into pieces if she let’s go.

“Lucifer, you’re here. With me. Just come back to this moment.” Words fall endlessly from her lips as she tries to give him a lifeline to cling to.

“I’m sorry, Chloe,” Lucifer hears himself saying, his voice sounding horribly broken to his own ears. His harsh breathing makes it hard for him to get the words out, but he does his best. “I’m sorry I’m so pathetic,” he says, mirroring the words in his head.

_Yes, admit it. Let her see just how worthless you really are_

“No, no, you are not pathetic,” she tells him, rocking them both slightly. “You’re strong, Lucifer. And you have always tried to do right by people.”

“I-I’m just weak, a-an-and a b-burden to you.” His voice sounds horrendous, as all of the emotion drains from it as he stutters through the words. Saying them aloud only serves to fuel the voice as pain sears through his chest. He’s spiraling even further, unable to even defeat himself.

“You know, Trixie is dying to see you...”

Lucifer’s decent pauses, if only for a moment. “Trixie...” he hears himself whisper.

“Yup,” Chloe says, quickly latching on to a spark of hope. “She told me last time I talked to her.”

Lucifer’s mind dregs up an image of the child clinging to him, in the middle of one of her greeting hugs. “I...”

“I wouldn’t let Dan bring her to see you. You were in such a rough shape and she already had to see me almost die that one time...” Chloe is rambling, saying anything about Trixie she can think of.

Lucifer listens, using Chloe’s words as a means to drown out his own thoughts.

_Once again, always needing a human to save you. An angel, the Devil no less, needing to be saved by such scum_

“...no...” Lucifer whispers.

Chloe’s words stop and she stills. Lucifer has no idea what’s she’s just said, but tries to think back anyways.

_Needing to be rescued by a sack of flesh that isn’t eve-_

“No..” Lucifer’s voice is louder, more stable now. Chloe starts to pull away, but Lucifer wraps his arms around her, needing her to know that there’s more going on.

_What would she say if she truly knew? Truly knew how little regard you have for your own life? Would the stupid b-_

“NO!” Lucifer bellows. He feels Chloe jump, but only holds her tighter. Her own grip on him tightens and Lucifer finally pulls himself away from his spiraling thoughts.

Other than Lucifer’s own heaving chest as he sucks in air like a dying man, neither one of them so much as twitches. Lucifer has his body pressed against Chloe, needing to feel her, needing to know she’s real and she clings to him in return. “Chloe...” he manages to finally say and feels himself shatter under her hands.

“Chloe,” he says again and his voice breaks on the word as great heaving sobs over take him. For her part, Chloe takes the sudden change in stride and is soon doing anything she can to try and sooth him. Her fingers run through his curls. He will never understand her limitless patience, but right now, he’s eternally grateful for it. It’s a long time before his sobs finally die down, more out of exhaustion than anything else. After a little while more, he gets his breathing back under control and feels a great weight leave his chest.

Chloe doesn’t move and Lucifer realizes she’s waiting for him, waiting to make sure he’s actually ready. After taking a few more breaths to make sure he’s actually stable, Lucifer thinks of the perfect thing to say. “I’m afraid I’ve made a mess of your shirt,” he mumbles.

Chloe gives him a soft chuckle before placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. “Feel a little better?” she asks softly.

“Well, as good as could be expected, I guess.” Lucifer takes a deep breath, and finally relaxes his arms as he breathes out. He unwraps his arms, but keeps one hand on her, needing to still be connected. Chloe releases him as well, but doesn’t move away completely.

He reaches up and cups her face, giving her a soft smile. “What did I ever do to deserve this...” he hears himself whisper. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Chloe only returns his smile and takes his face in both of her hands. He leans into her touch, closing his eyes as he finds a moment of peace. She pulls his head towards her gently and places the softest kiss on his forehead.

“You know,” she mumbles against him. “My knees are killing me on this tile.”

Lucifer opens his eyes as he pulls his head back, catching the look on her face. They both laugh as Lucifer realizes his own aren’t exactly happy as well. “Fair point,” he says between his laughs.

“Oh,” he says, just now noticing that his wings are wrapped around them both. “When did those bloody things appear? Swear, they have a mind of their own....”

Chloe chuckles again. “Probably around the time you said no really loudly.”

“Ah, sorry about that.” She shrugs her shoulders and Lucifer brings his wings back around behind him. Her eyes follow them, but he notices she doesn’t get as lost in them this time around. “Getting used to them yet..?” He asks gently.

Chloe blinks and moves her eyes back to look at him. “Honestly? Not entirely. You’ve definitely given me a lot to process these last months.” He hears the meaning behind her words and feels his a new wave of appreciation for her wash over him. “Linda had a lot of help to give, though.”

“Yes, she’s gotten pretty good at talking about all of...this...” he rolls his eyes back towards his wings and Chloe’s eyes travel to them again. The light they emit frames her face and Lucifer can’t help but be drawn to her beauty.

“You really were always telling the truth, weren’t you? Always trying to tell me who you really were...” Chloe looks back at him and Lucifer can see that this has been a recurring thought for her.

He leans back and finally pulls them both to their feet. His wings settle behind him, resting against his back as if they belong there. After giving their legs a chance to stretch back out, Lucifer looks Chloe right in the eye. She stares back at him, and Lucifer can see her mind jumping all over the place.

“I promise, Detective. Even with all of the half truths, and elaborations...I have never lied to you. And I will never lie to you...” Lucifer’s voice is soft but his words pack as much meaning as he can make them. Holding her gaze, he let’s the words sink in and sees her mind start to calm. He watches Chloe release a breath and feels slightly better himself.

“Come on,” Chloe says after a beat, grabbing his hand. He raises an eye brow at her. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last two chapters I’ve posted still need editing so bear with me. This chapter didn’t want to be written so I wasn’t even sure I was going to have anything to post today but I made it! 
> 
> Now, if only people leave me alone when I make it obvious I’m busy, life would be a lot easier XD


	11. Chapter 11

Lucifer gives her a soft smile as the effects of everything that has just happened washes over him. His head feels cloudy and his face feels puffy. He gladly lets Chloe take control of the situation as she leads him to his own bedroom. Oddly enough, it’s the one area of the penthouse that Pierce didn’t feel the need to torture him in and Lucifer feels another weight lift off of his chest as he enters a space without memories from that night attached.

Chloe leads him to the foot of the bed and gently pushes him down onto it. Lucifer decides against saying the joke that’s one his tongue out loud and instead settles for just enjoying the sight of Chloe in his space. He watches as she heads off to his bathroom. Once she’s around the corner, Lucifer leans back until he is laying down on his bed. 

His wings spread out around him, feathers ruffling in his ears. He sighs, too tired to put them away at the moment. Surprisingly, his back is holding up pretty well, having them out. It still isn’t back to being fully healed, but it’s definitely an improvement. Lucifer can’t believe how much like shit he feels and wonders if this is what crying is normally like for humans. It’s exhausting. 

“Do you mind having her for another night? ...yeah something came up...everything is ok...he just...yeah, ok. Thanks, I owe you.”

Lucifer picks up on Chloe’s side of the conversation and wonders if he should just suck it up and let Chloe get back to her life...As he ponders that, he feels himself start to drift off...

Lucifer jolts awake, a strange feeling leaving a weird sensation going through his body. He looks around and sees Chloe standing next to the bed. “Detective,” he says while taking a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry,” she quickly says. “I just wanted to know...” Her sentence falls off and Lucifer looks at her quizzically. Her face looks almost...guilty?

As he processes this, another part of him reminds him of a feeling he has all but forgotten about, and he finally puts two and two together. “You wanted to know how they feel?” Lucifer supplies for Chloe and watches as her face falls at his words. 

“I’m sorry, I should have asked.” She tells him. 

“Yes, well, too late for that now.” Lucifer’s voice holds no ill meaning and he pulls himself into a sitting position.Carefully, he extends a wing out to her while tucking the other one in. 

She looks at him once, hesitating, giving him a chance to change his mind, before she reaches out a hand. “Just...be gentle, please..” Lucifer adds as he looks away. Chloe hesitates again, but her desire to feel the wing overpowers her and Lucifer feels himself brace for the moment. 

Chloe’s fingers land gently on the outer feathers. She runs her hand over them ever so slightly and every movement sends a jolt through him. He grits his teeth against the feeling, but makes no effort to stop her. Chloe’s fingers dig a little deeper until they find the soft, downy under feathers. The jolt Lucifer receives is stronger and he hears himself gasp at the feeling. Chloe starts to pull away and Lucifer collects himself to stop her. “Don’t stop...please...” he gasps out. 

She pauses, then continues to stroke the softer feathers. Lucifer is seeing stars, more accumulating every time she moves. His hand clutches the bed, balled into fists, but he can’t bring her to stop. Every nerve is on fire, but Lucifer cannot believe how amazing it all feels. When she notices that his breathing has picked up, Chloe removes her hand from Lucifer’s wing and he feels her gaze on him. 

“Does that..?” she starts to ask. 

“Hurt? No,” Lucifer tells her. After a few moments, he pulls his wing back, folding it behind him, and hears them both shake. “It’s a strong feeling, one I don’t really have the words to describe. Not something I’ve experienced often.” He runs a hand over his face and tries to stifle a yawn. 

He opens his eyes again and see Chloe staring at him. “Come here,” she says softly, holding out her hand. Lucifer gathers himself, rolling his shoulders to put his wings away subconsciously. He takes Chloe’s offered hand and pulls himself up. 

He half expects her to lead him off somewhere but instead she moves closer to him. Lucifer can’t help but look into her eyes, drawn to them and to her. Chloe returns his gaze and Lucifer feels her holding on to his jacket. Her hands slide up and under the material, moving towards his shoulders. 

“Getting a little handsy, are we?” Lucifer asks before he can stop the thought. 

Chloe only smiles up at him and reaches up to his cheek, placing a soft kiss there as she slides the jacket from his shoulders. He closes his eyes at the feeling, needing to stay in the moment as much as he possibly can. While he normally always wants to be in control, right now, he’s perfectly ok with Chloe leading the way tonight. 

Chloe takes his hand again once his jacket has been completely removed. She leads him to the bathroom and once he reaches the door, he stops in his tracks. “Detective, you’ve raided my stash of candles I see.” His voice is soft as he takes in the sight before him. 

The lights have been dimmed and candles are placed around the room. They line the edge of the elegant tub that is against the large window. Night has fallen and the lights of the city only help add to the mood Chloe has created. Chloe squeezes his hand before letting go. She gives him a soft shove, pushing him farther into the room. 

“Get undressed and get in the tub. And don’t give me that look,” she says while giving him a cheeky wink. “I’ve already seen you naked, so it’s not like it’s anything new.” She flashes him a smile before leaving him alone with his thoughts. As he does as he was instructed, Lucifer looks around the room, expecting to see something...different, something that would once again lead him to being a shaking mess on the ground...

Making his way over to the tub, he notices that Chloe has filled it and he can see the steam rising, even in the light of the candles. He can’t help the grin on his face as he finishes undressing and finally lowers himself into the steaming water. Leaning back against the side of the tub, a groan that slips between his lips as he already starts to relax. 

“Thought you might like to not smell like a hospital anymore,” Chloe says softly from the doorway a few minutes later. 

Lucifer cracks an eye at her, his smile only growing. She’s shed her own jacket and shirt. She’s also changed into a pair of shorts Lucifer has no idea where she hid, so she now only wears those and a tank. She raises her hands and Lucifer sees two wine glasses and a bottle. He closes his eye again and can’t help the hum that reverberates through him. 

Chloe walks over to him and sits on the ground, leaning against the tub. She opens the wine and pours them both a glass, taking a sip of hers before handing one to Lucifer. After a moment, Lucifer takes it, but only let’s it hang in his hand. 

“After I got home from the hospital, the second time,” she starts. “All I wanted to do was take a bath. Just wanted to feel like myself again...” Her voice is soft and Lucifer thinks back to that time. 

“I was gone by then...” he says softly, remembering with a twinge of guilt. 

“Yes,” Chloe whispers. She clears her throat and continues her story. “I just remember getting home, pouring myself a glass of wine, and just....soaking in the tub until I felt like myself again. It was all I had the energy to do.”

Lucifer hears the sadness in her voice and can’t help but feel like an ass for leaving her at that time. “You know,” he says when Chloe hasn’t spoken in a few minutes. “I can’t change what I did then, running instead of trying to come to terms with what happened but...I can do better, this time.”

His words hang heavy between them and neither of them really knows what to say. Chloe takes another sip of her wine before putting the glass down. Lucifer watches her stand and walk towards a cabinet. “Did I really sleep long enough for you to learn where everything is?” 

She turns around with a couple of bottles in her hands. “You forget,” Chloe replies as she walks back over. “We were here for hours on my birthday.” She gives him a wink before setting the bottles down next to her wine glass. 

“Ah,” Lucifer says, a soft smile on his face as he thinks back to that day. 

Chloe reaches out with a hand and threads her fingers through his hair. Lucifer is becoming very fond of this feeling and can’t help but lean into her touch. He feels her move behind him and lower. “Detective?” he asks, but she only reaches for one of the bottles she brought over. 

Pulling her hand from his hair, Chloe reaches for an object she left laying on the window ledge earlier. Her other hand comes up and slowly tilts Lucifer’s head back. Lucifer follows her motions and feels a gentle, warm trickle of water run through his hair. A shiver runs through him, but he hardly dares to breath, not wanting to ruin anything. 

Chloe fills her cup a few times from the still hot water in the tub, running water through his hair until she is satisfied. Lucifer hears her sit the cup down and the unmistakable sound of a bottle cap opening reaches his ears soon before the smell of his shampoo washes over him. 

It takes everything in him to keep from groaning when Chloe presses her fingers into his scalp. He can’t help but fall to pieces under her touch as she massages the shampoo into his hair. Lucifer feels the stress of the day start to melt away under her fingers. The wine glass that’s still untouched in his hand almost falls to the floor, and would have if Chloe didn’t catch it in a soapy hand. 

Once again, Lucifer finds himself wondering what exactly he has done to deserve having her in his life. The words carry more weight than Chloe realizes, but the meaning remains the same behind them. 

All too soon, at least in Lucifer’s opinion, Chloe is pulling her hands away, rinsing them off in the water next to him. She fills the cup again and washes the soap out of his hair, a hand on his forehead keeping the water from running into his eyes. Once she’s sure all the soap is gone, another bottle clicks open, and her fingers are again running through his hair. Lucifer sighs contently and feels as though he could very easily fall asleep right here....

“I know our relationship has been strange over the years.” Chloe is rinsing his hair again as she talks. “But I just want you to know, you can always talk to me. About anything.”

Lucifer tilts his head back slightly at her guidance. “I’ve always felt I could, I just don’t always know how...” he tells her softly. He hears the cup hit the floor again and twists around slowly as to not splash any water, so he can look at her. “My world is...hard to share. I’ve always felt I can trust you though.”

Chloe returns his gaze and a calmness settles over her. “Lucifer...” she whispers before leaning forward to rest her head against his. 

“I know it’s all been a lot for you, and I’m truly sorry you had to find out the way that you did. But I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk about it all,” Lucifer tells her gently. 

Chloe nods against him. “Words can wait though,” she whispers before pressing her lips softly against his. 

Lucifer returns the kiss with the same softness. They break a part after a few moments and Chloe’s deep blue eyes meet his own. Lucifer smiles at her, his eyes soft. He brings a hand up to sweep a strand of hair out of her face. 

Chloe returns his smile and grabs his hand in hers. Silently, they just live in the moment, needing to just be in each others presence. Chloe all too soon releases his hand and pushes him back around in the tub. “Come on,” she tells him. “Let me at least get your back before the water is completely cold.”

Lucifer does as he’s told and for the first time he can remember, there’s no extra voices in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of happiness and fluff after the angst that was last chapter. 
> 
> I plan on proofreading stuff tomorrow so just ignore my typing mistakes. My hands currently really hate me T_T


	12. Chapter 12

“Hey, quit splashing me!” Chloe says between giggles. 

Lucifer gives her a mischievous grin, but dutifully listens. Even he has to admit it’s nice to not smell like a hospital anymore. Chloe hands him a towel, as the water has finally grown too cold for even him to stand. “Go on,” he says, behaving. “I’ll meet you out there.”

Chloe gives him a long look before nodding and leaving him alone in the bathroom. Lucifer sighs before climbing out and wrapping the towel around himself. He grabs another tower, running it over his hair. He looks in the mirror and notices the grin on his own face. For the first time in months, he feels like himself again. 

Walking over to one of the cabinets, Lucifer opens it and pulls out a pair of silk pants and a clean pair of underpants. He leaves the towel on his head after getting dressed, keeping the water from dripping into his eyes. He heads out of the bathroom before giving the room one last look over. 

“Chloe, I haven’t felt this relaxed in quite some time,” he says while walking back into the bedroom. “That was definitely one of the best ideas....Detective..?” Lucifer stops in his tracks, and the towel on his head slowly slips off and lands on the floor. 

Chloe is sitting on his bed, her face in her hands. Lucifer can see her shoulders shaking and something in his chest clenches. He makes his way over to her quickly, but doesn’t quite know what to do. “Chloe..?” he says softly. 

She jumps, raising her head quickly. Her eyes are wide with panic, but tears stream from them, marking tracks down her face. Chloe recognizes Lucifer in front of her soon after and her face falls once again. Lucifer puts a hand on her arm, not knowing what exactly she needs right now. 

“Lucifer..I’m sorry, I just...” The words fall from her mouth, but they are disjointed, as if she can’t really put her thoughts and words together. 

“Take a deep breath, everything is ok,” Lucifer whispers, reaching up to gently swipe another tear away. 

Chloe’s face breaks again and she buries her face back in her hands. She leans towards Lucifer and he quickly puts his arms around her, holding her close as she works through whatever is going on in her head. After a few moments of him holding her and murmuring anything that comes to mind, Chloe’s tears eventually slow down and die off. She takes a few deep breaths and then starts to pull away. 

Lucifer takes the hint and releases her, but keeps a hand on her arm, rubbing his thumb over her gently. “Talk to me..” he tells her softly.

Chloe takes another breath and Lucifer feels his chest clench again. “Being back here...It’s harder than I thought it would be...” Chloe finally whispers. “I went back in....there...while I was waiting for you to come out....” 

Lucifer looks over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of the living room behind her, and feels himself sigh. “It’s been a lot for both of us...And my...episodes earlier haven’t helped any, I’m sure.” Chloe’s face twitches. “You know, you can talk to me about it. I’m here for you.”

Chloe sighs. She looks behind her at the bed before scooting further back up on it, pulling Lucifer along with her with a gentle tug. Lucifer stands and climbs on to the bed, pulling a blanket up around them both. He leans against the head board and wraps an arm around Chloe, who lays her head on his chest. After a few beats, she starts telling him her side of the story...

“I kept trying to get a hold of you, after that last case that we had. I just wanted to talk to you about it and make sure everything was...ok.. between us. It felt weird after that night and... Well, I just wanted to talk. You weren’t answering though...” Her voice is shaky, but Lucifer listens diligently, letting her tell him at her own pace. 

“I started to think you had maybe run off again, on another trip to Vegas or somewhere. After the third day of not hearing from you, I had someone at the station track your phone for me. It kept pinging here, and that’s when I got in contact with Maze....” Chloe takes a deep breath. “That was when she told me about what happened between her and Pierce. She tried so hard to get me to stay outside, but I wouldn’t listen. I needed to know you were ok...”

She falls silent, and Lucifer knows she’s living that night over and over in her head. Her breath ghosts across his bare chest, and Lucifer feels himself shiver involuntarily. A fluttering sound reaches his ears and he rolls his eyes as his wings once again appear. He starts to put them away again, when Chloe presses closer to him as a wing wraps around her. As the wing settles, Chloe breaths out, and Lucifer feels everything in her relax as a calmness goes through her. 

“I insisted on riding up in the elevator,” Chloe continues soon after. “When the doors opened, the first thing I saw was Pierce standing over you with a blade in his hand and I took a shot. Pierce ran for it and was gone before I could get over to him, but by then, all I could think about was checking on you. I hardly recognized you...

“You were covered in blood and it was awful...You passed out soon after I got there and I pulled you into my arms. Everyone in Maze’s team was telling me to put you down, but I couldn’t....It wasn’t until Maze came over that I saw the wing hanging off of you. She tried to get me to leave again, but I just held you as she cut through the rest of it...

“I had to look away,” her voice has grown even softer and Lucifer feels his wing wrap even tighter around her. “There were wings everywhere...I could barely breathe. It was awful. Blood and feathers were everywhere and I....I didn’t know what to do. It was all I could do to hold on to you and radio for backup once Maze gave me the all clear...”

She takes a deep shuddering breath and Lucifer places a soft kiss on her head. He blinks, tears forming in his eyes at her words, hating that she had to deal with all of this. “They took you away from me. Dan held me back as they took you, telling me that you were dying. I don’t really remember much of what happened after that, but I know that Dan had a nice bruise on his face for a few days after we found you. He told me there was a lot of screaming on my end, but it’s really all a blur... 

“It took a long time for me to process the whole wing thing, and I realized that it had all been cleaned up by the time Dan got there, so I couldn’t even tell him about it. Before you woke up the first time at the facility, it hit me that everything you ever told me was the truth, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Luckily, Linda was sitting with me that day and she helped me process a lot of it. Explained that you were still the same person you have always been...”

She trails off again, and Lucifer just listens to her breath. His own memories of the night are fading, but he doesn’t think he will ever forget her face when he realized she was there. “I would have been lost without you...” he whispers to her. “You saved me, Chloe...”

He can’t hold the tears back any longer, and feels them slide down his face. They are silent for a long time, just needing to be in each others presence. Chloe’s breathing evens out eventually, and Lucifer holds her close as she finds some sort of comfort in her sleep. He turns his head, looking out the window at the city, and in his heart, he knows the view will never be the same for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more angst again, but a little different this time...
> 
> Thanks once again for all of the support!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for 5k hits!

Sunlight streams in through the windows of Lucifer’s bedroom and he blinks against the light. Clouds float lazily across the sky as Lucifer watches. His thoughts drift to the previous night, the good and the bad parts, as he watches them. Part of him is grateful that Chloe trusts him as much as she does, and another part is heartbroken for her and what she had to go through... A sigh pulls him away from his thoughts and he glances down, unable to keep the smile from his face.

Chloe’s arm is draped across his chest and she looks at peace. Lucifer remembers her comment about nightmares as he watches her sleep and hopes that she was able to escape them during the night. He runs his hand gently over her bare shoulder and places a kiss against her forehead. He settles back again, and continues to look out the window. 

“What are you looking at?” a voice whispers up to him.

“Just watching the day pass. Enjoying the moment.” He blinks and looks down again, his eyes connecting with Chloe’s. His heart jumps and his breath catches in his throat as his smile grows. “Of course, I’d rather enjoy this moment,” he tells her and Chloe’s own lips break into a smile. 

Chloe nuzzles against him and Lucifer’s arm wraps tighter around her, along with his wing that is still folded protectively around her. Lucifer almost rolls his eyes until Chloe sighs again contently. “You know, I could get used to those very quickly,” she mumbles sleepily. 

“Still bloody annoying things.” Lucifer mutters and he can feel Chloe’s chuckle rumble through him. 

“You find them annoying,” Chloe says, looking up at him again. “I find them...”

“Stunning? Glorious? Wonderfully divine to gaze upon?” Lucifer lists, cocking an eyebrow at her. 

“Comforting...” Chloe says softly and Lucifer feels the words die in his mouth. “I still don’t really know how I feel about them, but they are definitely very comforting.”

Lucifer finds no words to say in response, having never heard his wings described in this manner before. The conversation dies and the morning slowly passes by them. Neither one of them are willing to move and break the moment, knowing they would need to return to reality once they do. Staying in this moment means staying in the peaceful bubble they have created in this room, in this bed, and Lucifer sure as shit doesn’t want to be the one to break it if he doesn’t have to. 

“You know,” Chloe mumbles after a very long time of neither one of them speaking. “I do have to eventually pick up Trixie today. Dan has been taking care of her more than his fair share lately...” Her voice sounds almost sad at the idea of having to leave the moment, but Lucifer knows she also misses her daughter being around. 

Chloe groans and rolls over, but Lucifer pulls her back against him before she can get too far. His wings disappear as he rolls over on his side, his chest flush against her back. His nose presses against her neck and bumps raise on her skin as his breath washes over her.

“You’re making this difficult,” he hears her say, but only grumbles non-coherently in response, wrapping an arm around her stomach. 

“Five more minutes,” he mutters in response. 

He hears Chloe snort and can’t help the smile on his face. “You are such a child,” she tells him, but ends up snuggling back against him. Lucifer sighs, knowing that she is right and that they have to eventually get back to the real world, but he also just wants to enjoy this moment for as long as he possibly can. 

“You can always come with me, you know.” Chloe says after a few minutes. 

Lucifer thinks back to the prior night, vaguely remembering Chloe saying something about Trixie missing him. “So the spawn does actually miss me then? Wasn’t just something you made up?” He asks softly. 

“Yes, she asks about you constantly whenever I talk to her. You’ve become a part of her life and she is genuinely worried about you.” Chloe’s voice is soft and Lucifer knows he is being selfish right now. Part of him wants to say screw it and care only about himself. After all, he’s been through so much and just wants to be able to have some sort of happiness in his life. On the other hand..

“Well then, I guess we should show her that everything is ok and that I’m still alive and well.” His voice is still soft, but after another minute or so, he finally let’s Chloe go and climbs out of the bed. 

Chloe’s eyes follow him and a grin grows on her face. “Who would have thought. The devilishly handsome night club owner that everyone lusts over gets bed head.” 

Lucifer only stares at her and Chloe’s smile grows until she is giggling at the look on his face. Lucifer only glares at her, words dying in his throat, as he makes his way to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. He can’t help but continue to glare at himself as he notices his hair sticking up all over the place. Sighing, he turns his shower on, letting the water warm up, unable to come up with an appropriate comeback for Chloe who is still laughing to herself in the other room. 

After a quick shower, Lucifer makes his way back to his room and looks through his clothes. Chloe has disappeared to the bathroom herself and Lucifer sighs; for once since coming topside, he doesn’t really feel like wearing a suit, but doesn’t really know what else to wear. He eventually ends up throwing on a pair of designer jeans and a leather jacket with a Henley underneath and is finishing tying his shoes when Chloe emerges from the bathroom. 

She’s wearing a new set of clothes, her hair thrown up in a messy ponytail, and Lucifer can feel himself staring at her with a sloppy smile on his face. Somehow, she manages to make everything look amazing. “You’re staring again,” Chloe calls from across the room. 

“How could I not be?” Lucifer replies, but quickly looks away, knowing he’s been busted. 

He helps Chloe gather her bags that she brought in with her and they make their way down to the club and back to the garage. After stopping for a quick breakfast, Chloe calls Dan and let’s her know that they are on their way to get Trixie. 

“Yeah, that would work, actually. It’s closer for both of us that way....ok, see you there.” Chloe hangs up her phone as they make their way back to Chloe’s squad car. Lucifer raises a brow at her. “We’re going to just go to my place; Dan and Trixie just got done eating as well and they are closer to my place than his.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Lucifer says as he climbs into the car. “I’m sure Dan wouldn’t really want me to know the way to his house anyways. Might think I’d start sending him pigs heads or something.” 

Chloe snorts next to him, but doesn’t say anything as she pulls away. The ride to her place passes quickly with Lucifer once again staring out of the window for most of the ride. He hasn’t quite gotten used to being back out in the world yet, with the sun on his face and the breeze in his hair, and he feels his wings ruffle on a different plane at the sensation. His hand is wrapped around Chloe’s free one as they drive, his need to be connected to her still holding strong. 

They pull up to Chloe’s apartment building just as Dan’s car pulls in. Dan gives Lucifer a smile as they each exit their cars. “Glad to see you out and about!”

“Yes, well, it’s nice not feeling trapped by four walls again either,” Lucifer says in response, giving Dan a small smile. He starts to say something else when he is tackled by a tiny human that can only be Trixie. 

“LUCIFER!” She shouts up at him, her arms wrapped as tightly as they can be around him. 

“Hello, spawn,” he says, smiling down at her. For once, the need to pull away and extract himself from the small creature isn’t present and he actually kneels down in front of her once Trixie loosens her grip on his legs. “Missed me, I’ve heard.”

Trixie nods and wraps her arms around him again. “Mommy said you were hurt really badly, but no one would let me come and see you.” 

“So I’ve heard,” he tells her, wrapping his own arms around her. He gives her a brief hug before pulling away again. “You wouldn’t have liked it there; very stuffy and a little too clean if you ask me.” He gives her a wink before standing back up again. Trixie only smiles up at him before turning and giving Chloe a hug as well.

“Thank you for watching her for so long,” Chloe says, picking up Trixie’s bag. “I know I’ve said that a lot lately, but...”

“And I keep telling you to stop worrying about it.” Dan replies. He looks between the two of them, and Lucifer has a feeling Dan is a little more observant than he has been letting on. “There were important things going on and it’s not like I didn’t stick my foot in my own mouth on a couple of occasions.” 

Dan and Chloe share a pained smile, and Lucifer’s mind brings up memories of the two of them arguing to each other. His and Dan’s conversation also replays in his head and Lucifer wonders if Dan actually followed his advice, with the way the two of them are acting with each other. 

“So, want to come inside for a bit?” Chloe asks. 

“I would, but I have a lot of paperwork on the case back at the office.” Dan says, and he leaves it at that. 

They all say their goodbyes, but Lucifer knows that there is more going on than Dan is letting on. He makes a mental note to ask about it later, wondering if it has something to do with Pierce, but he let’s it go for now. A hand grabs his before he’s made it even a few steps towards the apartment building and Lucifer looks down at the bouncing Trixie that is now attached to him.

“Did you and Mommy have a sleep over?” She asks suddenly. 

“Why would you think that?” Lucifer asks as Chloe about trips over herself ahead of them. She turns to look at them, on the verge of saying something when Trixie starts talking again. 

“Well, Daddy said you got out of the hospital yesterday, but you and Mommy are both getting here today. And you rode together.” Lucifer is once again amazed at the tiny human’s sense of deduction as Trixie casually lists off her reasons. “Daddy says that adults sometimes do that, just like kids do.” 

“This is true,” Lucifer says, ignoring the looks Chloe is throwing his way. “And yes, your mommy and I had a sleep over. She was helping me last night, and it got a little later than she thought, so I asked her to stay.” 

Trixie nods her head at the answer, and seems satisfied with Lucifer’s explanation. Lucifer looks back at Chloe and sees the look on her face and can’t decide if she’s impressed or horrified, but shrugs it off all the same. Once they get in the apartment, Trixie insists on showing Lucifer her bedroom, where she wants help hanging up some of her new drawings she brought from Dan’s place, and Lucifer watches as Chloe sneaks upstairs to put her bags away. 

“You know, Mommy was really sad while you were hurt...” Trixie says to him once they are alone. “Daddy told me she was scared because you were hurt really, really badly...” 

Lucifer pauses, lowering the picture he was about to hang up back down to her desk. He looks over at Trixie, who is now sitting on her bed, and can’t help but feel a different type of ache in his chest at the look on her face. “Trixie,” he says softly. He walks over and sits on her bed next to her. 

“Were you dying?” Trixies asks once he sits. “No one would tell me, but why else would you have been in the hospital for so long?” 

Lucifer sighs and looks at his hands that are folded in his lap. “Yes, I was dying,” he finally says. He looks up at her and catches her eye. “Someone, a very mean someone, hurt me very badly and it took me a long time to heal. No one really knew how to fix me.”

“It wasn’t a band-aid type of situation then?” Trixie asks seriously. 

“No, it wasn’t.” Lucifer looks at the child, and is once again struck by how smart she really is for her age. “I was having trouble fighting and your mother sat by me as much as she could, helping me to fight. She’s a lot braver than I am, you know.” 

“And stronger,” Trixie adds. 

Lucifer smiles at her words. “Yes, she is a lot stronger than I will ever be. I owe her very much.” As Lucifer says these words, he catches movement in the doorway to the bedroom and glances up to see Chloe watching them quietly. “I don’t know how I would have made it, if it wasn’t for your mother,” he adds on. He looks back at Trixie, who is thinking hard about Lucifer’s words.

“Then I’m glad she was there to help,” Trixie says after a moment. “I really missed her, but it sounds like you needed her a lot more.”

Lucifer smiles softly at her before reaching over and taking her hand in his. “Should we get your mother to help hang these drawings up or should we just finish it and surprise her?” Lucifer asks after giving Trixie a few moments. The child looks up at him with a smile on her face and pulls Lucifer back over to the wall, instructing him on where to hang everything up before her mother sees it. 

Lucifer throws a glance over his shoulder when Trixie isn’t looking and once again catches Chloe’s eye. She smiles back at him before slipping away, not wanting Trixie to see that she’s been standing there listening. Lucifer goes back to helping Trixie, but can’t help but think how true his words to the girl really were....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers! 
> 
> I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m going on a trip this week for a few days. I’m not sure how much writing I will be able to get done before or during, but I will try and get something up while I’m gone. I don’t know if it will be every day still, but I’ll try my best!
> 
> I’ve also been having some issues with my hands the last couple of days, which isn’t making things any easier... My job is a lot of repetitive motion, so they tend to take a beating, and this will be even more true the next few days... typing is hard and writing is harder, and I’ve been doing both for this story. Chapters might be a little shorter depending on how things are going on that end, so please bear with me..


	14. Chapter 14

The three of them end up having a pretty relaxing day. Trixie eventually deems her artwork appropriately hung and drags Chloe into the bedroom to look at it. Lucifer stands in the doorway, watching the two of them with a smile on his face.

Afterwards, Chloe sets out to do some laundry while Lucifer entertains Trixie. He flashes Chloe pleading looks whenever Chloe is in the room, but remains a good sport for the child. At some point, he lost his leather jacket, and even ends up helping Trixie pick out a matching polish color when she insists on doing his nails. Lucifer watches Chloe visibly start to relax as life starts to feel more normal for her and decides he can at least sit through this for her.

After an early dinner is had, courtesy of Trixie’s favorite pizza place, the three of them are on the couch, watching a movie together. Trixie snuggles next to Chloe and Lucifer heads towards the other end of the couch when Trixie grabs his hand and wordlessly pulls him down on Chloe’s other side. Lucifer starts to protest, but admits defeat at the look he is given. He tries to not sit too close to Chloe, but she is soon pressed against him and Lucifer feels himself finally relaxing.

“Today was good for her,” Chloe whispers when she notices Trixie has drifted off. “It’s good to get her back to normal.”

Lucifer watches as Chloe runs her hand through Trixie’s hair. He raises the arm Chloe has been leaning against and Chloe immediately settles back against him. His arm wraps around her shoulder. “So, this...” He gestures at the three of them. “This is normal then?” Lucifer asks hesistantly.

Chloe sighs contently as she relaxes against him. “It can be,” she says, her voice soft.

Lucifer contemplates her words before adjusting his position on the couch, and finds a new spot to lay in. He stretches a leg out, placing it on the coffee table. “I think I would like that...” he finally says, but Chloe’s even breathing reaches his ears and he smiles gently.

Lucifer lets the girls sleep through the rest of the movie before softly nudging Chloe awake. Once they untangle themselves from each other and the couch, he volunteers to carry Trixie to bed. Chloe smiles and goes to the kitchen to pick up the mess from dinner.

“You can stay, if you want,” Chloe tells him when he returns to the kitchen and leans against the counter. “I know going back might...I mean, you don’t have to...”

“I would love to, Detective,” he says, grinning as a blush creeps up her neck. He holds a hand out to her and pulls her in for a hug. Chloe leans into him as he pulls her forward.

“Lucifer?” She asks after a few moments.

“Hmm?” he hums in response.

“I know it isn’t the best of subjects to bring up after everything that’s happened, but...”

“You’re allowed to have questions, Chloe.” He tells her, looking down at her. “I wasn’t really here to help you work through everything, so feel free to ask whenever.”

Chloe nods, and he watches her face change. “I mean, I’ve talked to Linda, but I just still have questions that really only you can answer for me.”

Lucifer once again nods before taking her hand and leading her back to the couch. They sit next to each other, Lucifer still holding Chloe’s hand, and waits for her. He watches Chloe’s eyes as she gathers her thoughts, giving her all the time in the world.

“I guess, my biggest question is why did you never show me before?” She finally says, meeting his eyes. “I mean, I know, now, that you were always telling me the truth, but you knew I didn’t believe you.”

Lucifer takes a breath. “Well, I tried. I wanted to, after the whole me being kidnapped thing,” he starts. “The issue, though, is back then, I thought I still had my Devil’s face, and that tends to scare people more than anything. It about broke Dr. Linda....” His voice trails off as he thinks back to that day. “The day I got my wings back was the day my face disappeared.”

“So why not show me your wings?” Chloe asks, confused.

Lucifer looks down at their hands before answering. “Because, I cut them off that morning.”

His words fall flat between them and he doesn’t dare look up at her. “Since coming to Earth, this most recent time anyways, I’ve wanted nothing to do with my wings or what they represent. Having them reappear was like a slap in the face...”

Chloe’s thumb runs over his as she listens, but she doesn’t say anything. He finally looks up at her and meets her eyes. “That’s what those scars on your back were from then,” she finally says.

Lucifer thinks back to that day and can’t help the shudder that runs through him. “Yes,” he says, answering the question that wasn’t really asked.

“Lucifer...” Chloe says softly, but she only moves her hand up to his face, forcing him to look at her again. “I’m sorry I never believed you,” she whispers and Lucifer’s chest clenches.

“Don’t be,” he says, and leans into her touch.

Chloe grabs his arm and leans back into the couch, pulling him with her. Lucifer’s head lands on her chest, and he feels himself calm as the sound of her heartbeat reaches his ears. Her fingers start to run through his hair and Lucifer can’t help the groan that escapes his lips at the feeling.

“You haven’t really had someone do this often with you, have you?” Chloe asks him.

“Well, most people never want to cuddle very long with me, unless we’ve all passed out. Plus, we all go to hear what all of my sexual encounters think of me, thanks to that one case, so...” Lucifer mumbles against her.

“Good point,” Chloe says and Lucifer catches the regret for asking in her words.

“It’s not a big deal, though,” he adds quickly. “Well, it stung a bit at the time, but really, I’ve never had anyone I’ve wanted to do this with.” He drapes an arm over Chloe’s stomach, suddenly feeling very tired as Chloe continues to run her hand through his hair.

“Guess that makes me special,” he catches her saying before he’s completely out.

“Very,” he mumbles back before finally drifting off.

He’s back in that land of endless daylight, floating on warm updrafts that stretch on for forever. Looking around, he sees nothing other than blue sky above and green grass below. He is completely alone.

Lucifer can’t catch his breath and he beats his wings harder and faster, doing everything he can to escape the feeling that has lodged itself in his chest. His back screams in protest, but Lucifer continues to flap harder, pushing himself. Clouds build in sky, matching his frantic pace, and the sky turns gray.

_You can never escape it_

Lucifer’s eyes widen as he looks around and he pushes himself even faster.

_That feeling of being alone, you will never escape it_

The cliffs rise up in front of him and Lucifer swings to the left, racing along the rocky face. There’s no break in them and they stretch on as far as he can see ahead of him.

_No one could ever truly care for you, and even if they did, you would still find a way to push them away_

The cliffs start to surround him and with each flap, feathers float past him. Lucifer is falling, slamming into the jagged rocks as he goes.

_Who would even want someone so useless in their life_

Rocks press on top of him and a voice laughs above him. As Lucifer’s eyes lock with his own, he is finally pulled from the dream with a desperate gasp. Breathing hard, he looks around him and starts to understand he is still at Chloe’s.

“Lucifer...?” a voice mumbles next to him. Chloe is pressed against him, blinking blearily up at him from where she still lays on the couch.

“Go back to sleep, Detective,” he says gently, brushing a strand of hair away. He watches Chloe’s eyes close and her breathing evens out soon after. Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair as the dream plays over in his mind.

“You have bad dreams too?”

Lucifer looks towards the small voice and sees Trixie standing in her bedroom doorway, rubbing sleepily at her eyes.

“Yes, I suppose I do,” he whispers back at her. As he watches, Trixie walks back into her room and soon returns with a blanket and one of her many stuffed animals. She holds her hand out to Lucifer once she makes her way over to the couch, and Lucifer gets up slowly, trying to not wake Chloe again. He sits in the overstuffed chair and pulls Trixie up next to him as he puts the leg rest up on the chair.

Trixie arranges the blanket over them both before settling back against Lucifer. “I have them a lot lately, but I always feel bad waking Mommy and Daddy up whenever I have them,” she says softly. Lucifer wraps an arm gently around her and Trixie adjusts to the new position. “Ever since Mommy got really sick, I’ve been having them. I don’t want her to worry though...”

“I don’t want your Mommy to worry either,” Lucifer tells her. “I’m always falling in my dreams, and I lose something very important to me in them.” The words fall from his lips before he can question why he’s telling the child.

“I’m alone a lot in my dreams,” Trixie whispers. “I don’t like being alone... It’s scary.”

“I’m alone in mine, too,” he explains. “And yes, it is a scary thing, but you know what?” Trixie looks up at his question. “Neither one of us is truly alone. We have your mommy, and each other.”

Trixie thinks about his words and nods. She snuggles back against him and yawns. “Do you lose your wings in your dreams?” she mumbles.

Lucifer looks down at her, his eyes wide in surprise. “I do, actually,” is all he manages to say.

“I would be sad if I lost them too.” She’s almost asleep again and Lucifer can barely hear her. “They are very pretty....”

He can only blink in shock at the child as she falls asleep in his arms. He’s never shown his wings around her, and Amenadiel lost his long before he ever met the child. And yet...she knows.

With her curled in his arms, Lucifer once again feels sleep pulling at him. He worries about dreaming again, and wonders if Trixie has a hard time sleeping every night as well. Chloe’s comments about his wings make their way back to him, and as he drifts off, he hears a flutter and watches a wing settle over Trixie. As it touches her, something in Trixie relaxes and she smiles in her sleep. Lucifer can’t help the smile on his own face as he falls asleep once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get a chance to edit this tomorrow! It's getting late for me!


	15. Chapter 15

Lucifer wakes to the smell of coffee and bacon wafting through the air and his stomach grumbles at him. He stretches his neck out and hears giggling coming from the kitchen. From his spot in the arm chair, he has the perfect view of Chloe and Trixie talking and laughing as Chloe makes breakfast. 

Looking around, Lucifer notices his wings have put themselves away once again, and Lucifer decides to not grumble at them. Trixie whips around in her hair and Lucifer rapidly closes his eyes, pretending to still be asleep. 

“Too bad Lucifer is still sleeping,” Trixie calls and Lucifer fights a smile when he hears the sarcasm in her voice. “I’m sure he would love to have some bacon.”

“Well,” Chloe starts. “You could always save some for him.”

“Nah, more for me!” Trixie yells gleefully and Lucifer can’t keep a chuckle from escaping his lips. 

Lucifer opens his eyes again, catching Chloe’s and they share a small smile. “Guess I’ll just have to make him more, Monkey.”

Lucifer finally climbs out of the chair, stretching up to his full height. “Smells like breakfast,” he says and Trixie turns to look at him again.

“Morning sleepy head!” Trixie calls over.

Lucifer walks over to the breakfast counter, taking the seat next to Trixie. Chloe hands him a steaming mug of coffee and he gives her a grateful smile. 

“Alright, Monkey,” Chloe declares. “Time for you to go get ready for school.”

“Awww, but I want to hang out with you and Lucifer all day again!” Trixie whines.

“There will be plenty more opportunities for that,” Lucifer tells her, sipping at his coffee. “Maybe next time we can go get ice cream, but that’s only if you listen to your mom.” Lucifer gives Trixie a wink.

Trixie screws up her face as she contemplates his words. “Fine, but only if there’s sprinkles.” With that last statement, Trixie climbs down from her chair and heads off to her room.

“Ice cream, huh?” Chloe asks with a raised brow.

“What?” Lucifer says. “It worked didn’t it?”

Chloe rolls her eyes but smiles at him all the same as she sets a plate of food down in front of him. “So, I’m still on leave at the precinct, but I was thinking of swinging by and grabbing some paperwork. Wanna come?” Chloe raises her own coffee mug, taking a sip while she waits for Lucifer’s answer.

Lucifer looks down at his plate. Being able to spend time with Chloe is always a great thing in his opinion. Going to the precinct though...He can’t stop the sigh that escapes form his lips. 

“You’re worried what people are going to think aren’t you?” Chloe says softly.

Lucifer looks up at her with a guilty look in his eyes. “That obvious, is it?” He pushes his plate back.

“Ella misses you,” Chloe says softly. She puts her mug down and leans on the counter in front of Lucifer. She reaches for his hand and runs her thumb over his fingers. Lucifer looks at their hands and feels himself starting to relax. “It can’t be that bad, going back there.” He whispers to her. “Going to have to do it eventually.”

Chloe only squeezes his hand as Trixie comes running back into the room. Chloe stands up, looking over Lucifer’s shoulder. “All ready to go?”

“Yes!” Trixie yells back, a large smile plastered on her face. “Is Lucifer coming with us?” She asks.

“We were just discussing that actually.” Chloe responds as she makes her way over to Trixie. Lucifer turns in his seat to look at them. “You’ll have to ask him yourself.”

“Please, Lucifer?” Trixie asks, bouncing on her feet. 

Lucifer gets up and walks over to her. He holds out his hand and Trixie quickly grabs on, taking that as a yes. After a short ride, Chloe pulls up to Trixie’s school, and Trixie hops out, shouting her goodbyes over her shoulder as she runs away. 

“Is she always so bubbly?” Lucifer asks.

“She definitely has a better look on life than most adults I know,” Chloe responds as she pulls away from the school. 

Lucifer watches the view out of the window, listening to Chloe talk, but he isn’t completely part of the conversation. His mind keeps floating back to his dreams and the voice that haunts him...

“Lucifer?” Chloe’s hand is on his arm and he pulls back to himself. “You ok?”

Lucifer flashes her a smile, not wanting to worry Chloe much. “I’m hanging in there,” he tells her and he knows Chloe catches his meaning.

They climb out of the car, back at Lux so Lucifer can take a shower and change his clothes. Chloe waits for him downstairs and Lucifer hurries, not wanting to spend more time in his penthouse than necessary. He makes his way over to Chloe, once again dressed in a dark pair of jeans and a different leather jacket. 

“You know,” Chloe says as they make their way to Lucifer’s Corvette. “I’m kind of enjoying your outfits lately.”

Lucifer winks at her before opening Chloe’s door. “Yes, well, I just haven’t been in the mood to wear a suit lately. I’m glad you’re enjoying it though,” he tells her with his own wink and cheeky grin. 

Lucifer climbs into the car and they arrive at the precinct in no time, thanks to Lucifer’s erratic driving. “You’re going to get us killed one of these days,” Chloe says as she tries to tame her wind blown hair. Lucifer makes his way over to her and brushes a strand away from her face. They share a smile as his fingers linger. 

“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to,” Chloe whispers up at him.

He leans down and places a gentle kiss on her forehead before pulling away and heading for the entrance. Chloe is right next to him after a stride or two, and he looks down when he feels her hand slip into his. He looks back up at her, giving her a grateful smile, but doesn’t say anything. Chloe doesn’t remove her hand until they walk down the stairs, heading for her desk, and Lucifer watches as a switch flips in her and she visibly goes into work mode. He can feel the grin on his face as he watches her, but can’t bring himself to force it away.

“Hey Chloe! Lucifer!” Dan has spotted the pair from his desk and walks over, giving Chloe a quick hug. “What are you doing here today? Thought you were still on break?”

Chloe smiles at him. “Just wanted to take some of this mountain home and work on it a bit. I would rather not have to deal with all of it at once in a couple of days.”

“I’m just here for emotional support,” Lucifer chimes in, giving the mountain of folders a glance. “And to maybe help carry part of this back to the car.”

Chloe smiles up at him before setting to work. “Hey, Dan, is Ella here?” She asks over her shoulder.

“Yeah, she should be in her office,” Dan replies. “Want me to go and get her?”

“No, that’s ok,” Lucifer says before Dan starts to walk away. “Much rather surprise her since she seems to like those sorts of things.”

Dan nods and Lucifer heads towards Ella’s office, giving Chloe a quick glance to make sure she’s ok. “Go on,” Chloe says waving her hand. “This is going to take me a while to sort through anyways.”

Lucifer catches Dan’s look between the two of them, but the Detective only starts to help Chloe. Lucifer slips away, somehow managing to not be stopped by anyone before he reaches Ella’s door. Her blinds are closed, but Lucifer can hear music coming from inside. He gives the door a gentle knock, but slips inside when there’s no answer. 

Ella is standing at her table facing the door, but has her head down, focused at something on the table in front of her. “I keep telling you guys, if you want me to get anywhere with this, you have to stop interrupting me. No visitors!” She says without looking up.

“Not even for old friends?” Lucifer says, walking up to the table. 

Ella stops in her tracks, and her head snaps up. Tears immediately spring to her eyes as she recognizes him and before he can say another word, she’s racing around the table. Lucifer has just enough time to brace himself before she slams into him, arms locking around him tightly. 

“Lucifer!” She yells in excitement. “You’re here! You’re here and alive and not dead because of course you aren’t dead and-”

“Yes, Ella, I’m here,” he cuts her off, wrapping his own arms around her. At his hug, Ella’s words drop off and Lucifer gives her time to process, knowing she’s a particularly emotional person.

She finally pulls away and Lucifer watches her blink rapidly, trying to hide her tears. “I’m just really happy you’re here and doing ok.” She smiles up at Lucifer before going in for another hug.

“I was actually hoping I could talk to you about that...” Lucifer says and Ella pulls away. 

“Is your back ok? Do you need to sit down?” Ella asks, voice full of concern.

Lucifer cuts her off before she gets going too much. “No, it’s nothing like that. Physically, I’m doing ok,” he tells her. Ella stops, tilting her head at him. Lucifer sighs. “Remember when we went to Vegas, darling?”

Ella nods her head. “Do you need help with that again?” she asks. 

“More like, I need some advice.” Ella looks quizzically at him, but she waits for him to explain. “I know you didn’t really mean to bring it up at the time and you didn’t really want to talk about it then either but...” Lucifer trails off, suddenly very unsure.

“Hey,” Ella says softly. She reaches out and places a hand gently on his arm. “I’m here for you,” she says, giving him a reassuring smile.

Lucifer takes a deep, shaky breath, afraid to admit his struggles to someone. “I was wondering if you know how to makes the voices stop....”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter, sorry bout that!
> 
> Thoughts on the newest episode??

Lucifer keeps his head down, looking anywhere but at the scientist. “I know this isn’t something you really share with people, but I can’t make them stop and was just...” He’s rambling and feels his face heat up as Ella doesn’t say anything. He takes a breath, finally looking up at her again. “I just want to make them stop.” His voice breaks on the last word and he releases another shaky breath.

Ella just stares back at him as his words sink in and when she says nothing, Lucifer fears he’s broken her. “I’m sorry...” He finally whispers. “I should have never presumed... I’ll just see myself out...” He starts to pull away from her, but Ella only pulls on his arm and gives him the most sincere hug he’s ever received from her.

“Bug dummy,” Ella mumbles into his chest. “Can’t spring something like that on me and not expect me to be sad about it.”

Lucifer let’s out a breathy laugh, trying to dislodge the lump that’s building in his throat. “You were the only one I wanted to ask..” he tells her softly.

Ella finally pulls away and walks over to a couple of chairs in the room. At her glance, Lucifer joins her and they sit for a moment in silence. “Want to talk about it?” Ella asks softly after a moment.

Lucifer feels a sigh escape him and his eyes once again avert to the hands in his lap. “I don’t know how much you know, but I was in a coma,” Lucifer starts.

“Yeah,” Ella says while squeezing his hand. “I came up to visit a couple of times. It was hard seeing you like that...”

“Well, while I was in that coma, I had a dream...It was one that kept calling to me, and honestly, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to leave.” Lucifer can’t look at her still, but hears Ella’s breath catch. He pushes on, knowing he needs to get it out before he loses his nerve. “There was a...version of me, where I was. It was like...all my fears and insecurities...”

“Manifested as a terrifying version of yourself?” Ella asks softly and Lucifer finally looks up at her. “One that says every little bad or harsh thing you’ve ever thought about yourself on a constant repeat?”

Lucifer nods slowly. “Ever since I woke up, I can’t escape it. I can ignore it for a little while, but I can’t make it go away...”

Ella rubs his arm as his voice shakes. Saying it aloud makes it all too real, means that it’s actually something that is happening and isn’t just a thing he’s making up. “Lucifer,” she says. “Have you talked to Chloe about this?”

Lucifer shakes his head, his gaze lowering again. “I don’t know how to tell her and I’m not sure if I really should. Also, I don’t want to add yet another item to her list to worry about...” his voice trails off.

He hears Ella sigh and starts to question if he should have brought any of this up with her. She’s an amazing friend, but now he’s just made himself a burden to yet another person. He thinks about leaving, of making some excuse to slip away and just pretend this conversation never happened.

Just as he starts to pull away, he hears Ella take a deep breath. “Everyone’s experience with something like this is different,” she finally says. “Everyone’s struggle is never the same as another person’s, so it’s hard to say what works for me will also work for you. I can tell you what I do, but there’s no guarantee it will be the same for you.”

She stops talking and waits, as if she’s giving him a chance to process her words. It’s all a lot for him though and he can’t help but listen to his desire to bury his face in his hands. “I just don’t know what to do or even where to start...” he mumbles through his fingers.

Ella rubs a hand on his shoulder. “It’s just a journey you have to make,” Ella says. Her hand moves from his shoulder to his face and she slowly pulls him out of himself. “But it’s not one you have to make alone. Nor should you. Tell the people you care about, the ones you trust. Let them help you.”

Lucifer only stares at her. Something in him breaks and he feels tears slip out of his eyes and run down his cheeks. “I’m so afraid to lose her,” he whispers. Ella only pulls him closer, holding him as he comes to terms with what he just said. “I’m scared she’ll think I’m pathetic, that I’m weak and useless and she’ll leave me.” He realizes his words echo the voice that’s in his head and feels himself break again.

“She would never do that, Lucifer.” Ella runs her hand over his back. “She cares so much for you. Why else would she have spent almost every minute of everyday for weeks by your side until you were able to leave?”

Her words start to sink in and Lucifer knows she is right. “I need to tell her,” he whispers.

Ella pulls away to look him in the eye. “You don’t have to tell everyone, Lucifer, but Chloe will always be there for you. She will stand by your side no matter what, as long as you are honest with her.”

Lucifer nods, and even though he still doesn’t really have any answers on what to do to fix this, he feels better, just having a next step to work towards. “Thank you, Ella,” he says softly.

“Any time,” Ella says, giving him a gentle smile. “Now do me a favor and please explain this outfit because damn, you are rocking it!”

Lucifer let’s out a laugh, grateful for Ella. As they talk, for a moment, Lucifer’s mind is at peace and he almost allows himself to believe everything will be ok.


	17. Chapter 17

Ella and Lucifer end up talking for quite some time before Ella declares she needs to get back to work. Lucifer leaves her with plans to meet up another night, and heads back to Chloe and Dan. While talking with Ella, he had gotten a phone call from Maze, asking to talk, and told her to meet him at Lux.

He let’s Chloe know, asking if she wants a ride home, but she only waves him off, deep into her work sorting through the paperwork in front of her. He leaves her with a small smile and a promise to return later to pick her up for dinner and so she can pick her car up.

Lucifer soon pulls into Lux, once again struck by how little this place feels like home anymore... With a heavy sigh, Lucifer rides the elevator up to the penthouse from the garage. The doors glide open and Lucifer looks around.

“Maze!” he calls, wondering where the demon could possibly be. He makes his way over to the bar, glancing over his shoulder when he still doesn’t see her.

“I’m sorry, were you under the impression that your little pet was going to be able to hold me for long?”

A chill runs down Lucifer’s spine as a figure finally moves away from the shadows. “You...” Lucifer says, fear and fury firing on every nerve. “What have you done with Mazikeen.”

Pierce only continues walking towards him, unfazed by the sound of Lucifer’s vice that would have had any mortal man pissing himself. But Pierce is no normal man.

“Let’s just say, she’s a little tied up at the moment.” Pierce stops only a few feet away and Lucifer feels his eyes flash red.

“If you’ve hurt her,” he growls out, his voice low.

“She’s fine. Well, not dead anyways.” Pierce’s eyes look as dead as his voice sounds. “See, she didn’t realize I regenerate a hell of a lot faster under different circumstances. Apparently, she thought keeping me contained was going to be a breeze.”

The two men stare each other down. Even with the memories of their last meeting playing over in his head, Lucifer knows he can’t back down.

_No one to help you....all alone..._

Lucifer grits his teeth. “So what is it then?” he says. “Just gonna stand there or are you going to grow a pair and tell me what is is you want, exactly?”

“What I want?” Pierce asks, unable to contain a chuckle. “What I want is you to suffer, but that isn’t enough to stop you, I see. So maybe it’s time for others to suffer for you.” Pierce’s voice dips lower and Lucifer’s mind plays through the worst possibilities.

“Leave her out of this, Cain.” His heart is racing and his phone buzzes in his pocket, but he ignores both.

Pierce’s face twitches at his other name, and his eyes harden. “Decker.... Hard to say where the best place to start is with her.” Pierce is now moving around Lucifer, circling him as if he were a particularly juicy looking rabbit. “Should I start with you? Or with that child of hers? You know she would never pick you first, right?”

Lucifer is practically vibrating at this point. “Of course she wouldn’t and she would never have to choose Trixie first because if you come anywhere near that child, I’ll personally rip you limb from bloody limb.”

Pierce almost flinches. Lucifer watches his face twitch and his eyes go wide. He’s facing the bar now, Pierce stopping in front of him. Lucifer blinks as his phone buzzes again.

“You should answer that, might be important.” Pierce says with a smile curling the edges of his lips.

Lucifer glaces back, but considering Pierce’s threats, he pulls out his phone. His brain registers briefly that the caller ID says Chloe’s name as he answer it. “Chloe, sorry darling, couldn’t find my phone for a minute there.”

“Lucifer,” Chloe replies, and Lucifer thinks she sounds happy as least. “Thought you were going to come pick me up?”

“Yes, sorry again. Was busy picking out that banana bread for desert and lost track of time.” Lucifer doesn’t remove his eyes from Pierce, not letting the man so much as twitch without him seeing it. “I can be there in a jiff, though.”

“I can just have Dan take me home, it’s no problem.” He hears papers ruffle. “That was I can change. Just make sure to not grab a banana bread with walnuts in it. You know how much Trixie hates though.”

Lucifer hangs up his phone after saying a quick goodbye. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Pierce asks. “Didn’t mean to intrude.”

“It’s nothing of concern for you.” Lucifer can’t figure out a way out of this, can’t see how to fix this without anything happening. “Look, why don’t you just take whatever your issue is out on me and get it over with. Nothing is going to change between us. So I’m not sure what is is you’re trying to solve here.”

Pierce’s eyes narrow. “You were supposed to kill me, be my escape out of this Hell finally. And then her, she was supposed to fix this, but you’re both useless to me.” Pierce’s voice grows softer, but is no less menacing.

“Then take it out on me again and just get it over with!” Lucifer exclaims, exasperated. “You’re still going to have your Mark, you’re still be cursed, and still going to be angry at me for something I can’t bloody change!”

“No, you can’t change it,” Pierce says.

“Finally, we’re on the same page about something!” Lucifer throws his arms up, but still doesn’t take his eyes off of Pierce.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t make your miserable existence as bad as mine, though.” Lucifer freezes. “Also, you should know, Chloe hates banana bread.”

Lucifer’s eyes widen in horror as Piece turns away from him, pulling a knife from a sheath that was hidden by his jacket. Lucifer tracks his aim, looking towards the elevator doors just as they open with Dan and Chloe inside, guns drawn.

Time seems to slow for Lucifer, but in a way it never has with Amenadiel; he’s moving just as slow as everything else around him. He knows he can’t make it to Pierce in time, can’t do anything to stop the knife from leaving his hand. Lucifer can’t look away from Chloe, and feels a fire burn deep within him.

_Save her_

_Save her and show her you really aren’t as useless as you think you are_

It’s a different voice in his head. One that continues to remind him of what really matters in life. Lucifer takes in Chloe’s face one last time. He blinks, focusing on Chloe, and feels his wings burst from his back. He flaps, only once, and when he opens his eyes, he’s standing in front of Chloe and Dan.

“Lucifer!” Chloe gasps out.

Lucifer feels his face soften, her presence enough to calm his rage. “Chloe...” he breaths out moments before the pain finally registers and his knees buckle.

Arms reach for him and he vaguely hears Dan yelling at Pierce, but can’t quite make out the words. He grabs weakly at Chloe, leaning heavily on her. Her face floats in front of him and Lucifer struggles to hear he.

“Hey, stay with me ok?” She’s cradling his face now. “Come on, just look at me.”

Chloe doesn’t have to worry about that. Lucifer only wants to look at her, only wants to see her face. He just wishes she would smile. She has such a nice smile...

“Dan, he’s hurt bad!” Chloe looks up, calling over him and Lucifer feels a cough bubble up his chest. “Call a bus!”

It’s getting dark around the edges of his vision. He tries to blink it away, but the darkness only grows. He can’t quite make out Chloe’s words anymore either, but he realizes she’s crying. He wants so badly to wipe her tears away, but he can’t move. He hears a rustle and watches as a wing comes up to brush against her gently before folding away, and Lucifer is once again amazed at their ability to never do a damn thing he tells them to.

It’s too hard to hold his head up anymore. Too hard to keep his eyes open. He’s leaning completely against Chloe now, really wishing he could hear her words. Dan soon appears on the edges of his vision and he tries so hard to say something to him as well, but can only cough, and feels something sputter from his mouth.

Chloe’s face grows more horrified, but he still can’t help her feel better.... _I’m sorry, Chloe...please don’t cry...._

He feels his eyes slip closed and no longer has the energy to keep them open...

_You saved her..._

He’s standing in front of his image again.

_You saved her instead of relying on her to save you_

“Well of course I did.” Lucifer tells his image, rolling his eyes.

_But you’re the Devil and you saved some stupid human life for no reason other than your own selfish gains_

“That’s not true. I care for her, but I didn’t save her just because I’m selfish.” Lucifer stares down his image as he hovers off of the ground in front of him. “She has so much life yet to live, and she has others to live for.”

_Well, what about you_

_You have all of eternity to live_

“And without her, without people to care about, what’s the point of even being here anymore. I have no reason to return to Hell, and if I have nothing here for me anymore, then what’s the point.” Lucifer’s voice is soft as he realizes how true the words are as they leave his mouth. He needs her in his life, and her not being there anymore....

_You care for her_

“I do,” Lucifer says.

_So, you give it all up on the hopes that she will see how much you care for her?_

“No, I gave it all up because that’s what you do when you care for someone. Not so they will see it and know, but just because you do...” And for once, Lucifer knows. He truly knows, and he feels a calm wash over him.

As he comes to this conclusion, his image floats down to him until they are standing face to face. Neither of them says anything, words finally dying between them. Lucifer rolls his shoulders and feels his wings appear. Looking up, he finds a way out, a way to leave this hole that he has found himself in.

_Go_

_You’ve earned it_

_Take it and finally be at peace_

“But I would never see her again...” Lucifer looks back down, and gives his image a sad smile. His shoulders roll again and his wings disappear. He close his eyes and everything around him fades to white, blurring away in front of him....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Let me know! Love the comments as always :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick chapter, but I know you all look forward to this. I want to have a longer chapter up next, one that might touch on some of these topics that keep getting brought up, so it might be a couple of days before it is up. I am currently out of town visiting family and I want to be able to do it right, so I need to actually have the time to write it.
> 
> You have all been amazing and seeing the reactions to the last chapter has only fueled my desire to keep writing. Please, know that I will finish this story, wherever it may go, and I hope you all stick around for the end of it when we get there!

“Hey, I think he’s waking up...”

“Lucifer...?”

“Give him a moment...”

Lucifer groans as the voices reach his ears. His head is pounding and the voices are going straight through him. He considers just falling back asleep again, but after a few moments of trying, realizes it isn’t happening. 

“Lucifer...” 

He knows that voice. 

He would follow that voice to the ends of the world and back. Groaning again, he starts to blink his eyes open, squinting against the light. He feels a hand on his cheek, a thumb running over his skin lightly. 

“Hey, hey there..” 

That voice again. Lucifer looks towards it, trying to find the person that matches it. “Chlo...” he croaks out. His voice sounds horribly scratchy, but it’s all he’s got right now. 

“I’m here, it’s ok. Just take it easy.”

Lucifer can finally open his eyes enough to see her, can finally lock eyes with her. Everything in him relaxes as he finally finds her. “Chloe...” He can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips. 

“Hey,” she says simply. Her eyes are bright with tears and Lucifer wants nothing more than to brush them away for her. Everything in him hurts though, so he settles for just trying to give her a better smile.

“How you doing?” Another voice says and Lucifer’s brain eventually tells him that it’s Dan. “You had us all worried again...”

Lucifer only groans at his words and Dan’s chuckle reaches his ears. “He means it,” Chloe says and Lucifer hears the sadness in her voice. 

Lucifer feels himself lean into her hand before he starts slipping away again. He knows she will be here when he wakes up again, but for now, he just wants to rest....

Sighing, Lucifer slowly wakes up. His body hurts, but not nearly as much as it has in the past, and he stretches gently. Looking around, he quickly adjusts to the lighting in the room just as someone walks in the door. 

“Chloe..” he breaths out, and can’t help the smile that appears on his face. He realizes that this is becoming a very regular thing that happens, but can’t bring himself to care. 

Chloe stops in her tracks at his voice and looks towards him. “You’re awake,” she says softly. She makes her way over to the bed in only a couple of steps, her hands immediately catching his face. “You’re really awake this time.”

Lucifer leans into her, and can’t help but feel at peace when her head gently touches his. “Hello, darling.” He breaths out, leaning into her touch. “I’m really awake this time.” He has a vague sense of when he was awake last time, and knows that he didn’t really do much to make anyone feel better. 

“You are such a moron,” Chloe whispers to him. “And you scared me so much...”

“Yes, well, I am allowed to do selfish things occasionally.” Lucifer feels Chloe laugh against him and his chest warms at the sound. Chloe pulls away and Lucifer misses her immediately, but her hand soon wraps around one of his, which makes him feel better. 

“Why did you do that?” Chloe asks. Lucifer looks at her confusedly. “Why did you jump in front of that knife...” 

Lucifer is no less confused by this answer. “Because he was going to kill you,” he explains simply. “I couldn’t let that happen.”

Chloe only stares at him, and the longer she looks, the glassier her eyes look. Lucifer gives her hand a squeeze, needing her to know that everything is ok. “You could have died..” she finally says.

“Yes, I could have. But I couldn’t let you die either...” Lucifer watches as his words sink in and Chloe’s face changes. Tears slide down her cheeks and Lucifer once again wants to wipe them away. He untangles their hands and reaches for her face, cupping her cheek in his hand. He brushes the tears away. “I would rather die than lose you, Chloe...”

Chloe only stares back at him. She doesn’t say anything, and after a few moments, Lucifer starts to worry. “Chloe..I’m not sorry...” he says. “I would do it again, and again, if it would mean saving you.”

“Lucifer....”

“Chloe, I-”

The door opens again and Lucifer drops his hand from Chloe’s face as Dan walks into the room followed closely behind by Ella. “Hey, he’s awake again!” Dan says.

“That I am, Detective!” Lucifer exclaims. He catches Chloe’s eye and know that this moment isn’t over and will be returned to, but right now, they both greet the new comers in the room. 

“You know, Lucifer, if you didn’t want to get drinks you could have just told me,” Ella says. Lucifer can see she is doing her best to stay positive, and he appreciates her kindness.

“Yes, well, I am a busy man.” Her face breaks out into a genuine smile at his words as Ella realizes that he’s really going to be ok.

“You got lucky, man,” Dan starts. “Doc said the blade missed anything too terribly important by only a few inches. Any more and-”

“Let’s just be glad it didn’t then,” Lucifer says, interrupting Dan when he sees the look building on Chloe’s face.

The four of them soon settle into an easy conversation, Lucifer doing his best to keep up. He’s growing tired quickly, but he does his best to keep up appearances for those around him. After an hour or so, Chloe catches on to how tired he is and interrupts the conversation to kick everyone out politely. 

It’s soon just the two of them again and Lucifer finds himself breathing easy. He looks over at Chloe and sees that she looks worn out as well. “Not sleeping well?” Lucifer asks. 

Chloe gives him a sad smile and Lucifer holds out an arm for her. She gently crawls into the bed with him, curling up next to him with her head on his chest. “This ok?” She asks.

Lucifer hums in agreement. “I haven’t had a lot of pain this time around. Just sore.” Silence falls after his words as the two of them think back to just the other day. “Feels like a lifetime ago that I was here, and yet, here we are.”

Chloe nods against him. “If we could not come back here for a long time, I would be ok with that.”

Lucifer chuckles. “Deal. At least I’m healing this time, I take it?” 

“Yeah, it wasn’t a demon steel blade this time. Just a normal human knife.” Chloe sighs against him. “You really shouldn’t have done that,” she starts again.

“Chloe, I already told you, I couldn’t just let you die...” Lucifer says softly, staring at the ceiling. “I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I hadn’t done something to save you. I couldn’t stop Pierce, so I did the only other thing I could.”

They fall silent again and Lucifer breaths out in frustration, not knowing the words to help her understand. “Chloe...”

“Lucifer, please don’t...” Chloe starts and Lucifer feels his heart clench. “Please, Lucifer... I can’t lose you either...” He glances down at her, eyes wide. “That’s twice recently I thought I was going to lose you, thought you were going to be gone forever, and I... I don’t know what I would do if that was ever a reality. I need you, Lucifer...”

Lucifer’s eyes start to tear up at her words. His arm wraps around her and he pulls her close against him. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he says his next words softly to her. “Chloe, I will never leave you...I love you, Chloe...”


	19. Chapter 19

“You...What..?” Chloe asks after a very long pause fills the room. She pulls away from Lucifer so she can hold herself up on one arm and look at him.

Lucifer only looks at her, caught up once again in just looking at her. In this moment, he knows that he’s right, that he is actually being true to his emotions in a way that he never really has before. “I love you, Chloe.” His voice is soft when he does finally speak. “I know that has to sound strange, coming from me, but I’ve never been more sure about something in my life.”

Chloe continues to stare at him and Lucifer reaches up to gently brush his fingers against her cheek. “I’m not looking for anything in return, it was just something I needed to say.” He gives her a soft smile. Chloe returns his smile and goes to finally say something, but Lucifer cuts her off. “Please...don’t feel like you have to.”

“Lucifer, you are such an idiot,” Chloe tells him before leaning down and giving him a gentle kiss. She pulls away after a few heartbeats and Lucifer let’s go of a sigh when her lips leave his. She settles back against him, head once again laying on his chest. Lucifer wraps an arm around her as her hand splays on his stomach. “I’m sorry if I caught you off guard, Detective...” Lucifer whispers after a moment. “I’ve just never been honest with myself like this and I don’t want to hide anything anymore.”

Chloe hums against him, but doesn’t say anything. Lucifer runs his hand over her arm and shoulder, and feels the tiredness from earlier wash over him anew. A big yawn escapes through his lips before he can stop it. Chloe chuckles against him before a yawn escapes her as well.

“Long day for us both, then I guess,” Lucifer says through his own chuckles. 

“Mind if I stay? Dan has Trixie tonight.” Chloe mumbles.

Lucifer nuzzles against her head. “Do you even really need to ask? Not like I could get you to leave anyways.” He tells her.

“This is true,” Chloe replies and Lucifer hears just how tired she really is.

Lucifer closes his own eyes, holding Chloe close against him. It isn’t long before the even sound of her breathing reaches him and he knows she’s drifted off. Lucifer opens his eyes again and watches her, happy to see her face so at peace.

He thinks back to his comment to her about how he wants to be honest with her. Sighing, he realizes he still has one last thing he needs to talk to her about, one last secret that could change everything. Him being an angel seems to have gone over ok, but this?

Lucifer sighs again and decides to put it out of his mind for now. There isn’t anything he can do about it now anyways since he isn’t going to wake her up just to tell her that. Closing his eye again, Lucifer finally let’s sleep wash over him, happy to have gotten something off his chest tonight. 

After yet another few days at the center, Lucifer once again walks out with Chloe. “If I ever, ever, have to come back here, I’m burning the whole place down,” Lucifer grumbles. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, but looks down when Chloe grabs his other hand.

“If you ever come back here, I’ll burn it down with you inside,” Chloe says with a wink.

Lucifer smiles at her. “How about we just never have to come back?”

“Deal.” Chloe walks away, leading Lucifer to her car. They both climb in and Chloe looks to Lucifer, waiting for him.

He ponders for a moment, knowing she’s waiting for him to say where to go, but the thought of returning to Lux.... He feels his breath catch and the smile from earlier slips off of his face. “I don’t know if I can...”

“I don’t think I could ever go back there either,” Chloe whispers next to him. Their hands find each other after Chloe shifts the car into drive, and she pulls away, hopefully for the last time from this place. 

The drive goes quick, with Lucifer realizing that he doesn’t know if he will ever return to Lux. The only place he’s called home for most of the last decade and now... He sighs and Chloe squeezes his hand at the sound. He gives her a soft smile and decides he can’t dwell on it, and can only move on. 

Chloe soon pulls into the lot for her apartment and Lucifer is suddenly very unsure. “Is this really ok?” he hears himself ask.

“Lucifer,” Chloe says softly. “If I wasn’t ok with you being here, I wouldn’t have just brought you here...” She gives him a reassuring smile before sliding out of the car. Lucifer soon follows and catches up with her quickly. He grabs her bag from her, taking her hand with his free one before she can protest, and let’s her lead him inside. 

Walking into her place, being somewhere warm and familiar, instantly calms him and what little thoughts of Lux he had disappear instantly. He looks around, and feels something build in his chest; a sense of “home” he hasn’t felt in a long time. Because even while he called Lux his home, it never felt...quite right... His eyes eventually reach Chloe’s and he feels his face heat up as he realizes she was watching him.

“Ok?” she asks and Lucifer only nods. He gives her a smile and follows her lead. They soon have laundry going with food warming up in the oven. Chloe plops down onto the couch, relaxing into the plush cushions. “Couch, oh how I’ve missed you.”

Lucifer can only chuckles as he watches her. She stayed as often as she could once again, even thought he kept telling her to go home. While he was grateful for her and the fact that she was around, he also felt bad that she wasn’t getting the best sleep ever. He eventually lowers himself down onto the couch next to her, and a sigh escapes him as he too relaxes into the cushions.

Chloe looks over at him and he can see wheels turning in her head as her thoughts spin. Lucifer feels himself preparing, not sure where she is going to go with whatever she eventually says. She must catch something on his face because she gives him a smiles while reaching out for his arm. 

“Doing ok?” She asks softly.

Lucifer only nods in response. His mind focuses on her hand, her fingers running over him. The part of his mind that wanders too much finally quieting and moving away from worrying about what she’s possibly thinking. 

“Can I ask you something?” she says again after a long silence. 

“Always.” Lucifer replies softly.

She nods at his answer, but doesn’t say anything right away. “How long have you known?” She watches Lucifer’s face, and he can tell she’s just genuinely curious. 

Lucifer takes a moment to answer, now gathering his own thoughts. He thinks back to when they first met, and when they first started to actually feel like friends. Neither of those times are times Lucifer is really proud of, given how much he only ever thought of himself. Seeing her in the hospital, thought.... The second time, when she almost died...

“I’ve known for quite some time now, I’m afraid,” he tells her, voice quiet. “I didn’t really know it at the time, but looking back on it, it’s been building.”

Chloe listens to his answer, face unchanging. She waits for him to say more, but when Lucifer doesn’t say anything, she looks down at her lap. “Why only tell me now?”

“Honestly?” Lucifer says. “I didn’t really know how. Then Pierce showed up and...”

“Yeah, that whole period of time,” she laughs nervously. “I’m such an idiot....”

“No,” Lucifer says quickly. “Do not ever feel bad because of that man.” He catches her eye and puts as much feeling as he can in his words. 

“You tried to tell me though, tried to get me to see..” Chloe whispers. 

“Yes, well, mostly because I was jealous, so I’m not sure that counts.” Chloe’s face lights up at his words. 

“That does sound like you,” she says through a smile. 

“I know I was making things hard for you but I just...” Lucifer breaks off, unsure of how to tell her. 

“Just what?” Chloe says after a moment. 

Lucifer sighs. “I wanted you to choose me, instead of me forcing something that might not have even been there in the first place...”

Lucifer’s words drop off again and he’s looking down now, not knowing how to look at her. Chloe shifts next to him and Lucifer braces for whatever comes next. He jumps when her hand touches his cheek and he follows the pull of her fingers as she guides his face back up. 

Before he can say anything, her lips catch his and he willingly complies, pressing into her. His heart is pounding in his ears as her hand moves from his cheek to his hair, sliding through the strands before grabbing tightly and Lucifer swears he sees stars behind his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait everyone, life hasn't been kind. I'm trying to get back into writing this though, as I really do want to finish it. 
> 
> Hope you will all forgive the long wait!


	20. Chapter 20

Lucifer can’t help the moan that builds in him, demanding to be released as Chloe’s grip on his hair tightens. He feels himself melt under her touch and his moan only makes her push into the kiss further. Lucifer’s lips move with hers as he gives her all of the freedom and Lucifer swears the room is spinning around him.

_You have to tell her_

_You can’t hide the truth for forever_

The room stops spinning around him as Lucifer starts to recognize the thoughts swirling around in his head. He tries to refocus on Chloe, but is already lost to his inner struggle. He sighs and Chloe must sense the change in mood. Just as she starts to pull away, a timer starts going off.

Lucifer takes the advantage given to him and break away from Chloe. “I’ll get it,” he murmurs, and before she can protest, he’s already pulling away from the couch. He hears Chloe sigh behind him, but Lucifer only makes his way to the oven, pulling food out as his thoughts continue to swirl.

He catches a sound behind him and knows Chloe has followed him. “Wanna talk?” She finally says when Lucifer continues to not look at her.

Lucifer tries to look busy for a moment longer, but finally hangs his head, hands on the counter. “Yes, but...I’m not sure how...” Lucifer whispers. He listens as Chloe pads closer and he tenses up as her hand lands on his shoulder. “I just...” he breaks off and clenches his eyes shut.

Chloe’s hand rubs gently over his shoulder and he can’t help but lean into her touch. “Talk to me,” Chloe says softly.

Lucifer takes a deep breath, before finally dropping his shoulders. He turns to look at her and sees the concern written all over her face. He takes her free hand and leads her over to the couch area again, but when he goes to sit down, Chloe stops him. Lucifer watches as she pushes the coffee table out of the way before pulling cushions off of the couch. She leans them up against the couch and pulls Lucifer down with her after lighting the fire place across from the couch.

They settle, getting comfortable quickly, and Chloe’s hand finds his. Lucifer stares ahead of him, eyes not really focusing on anything, as he tries to find the right words. The more he thinks about it, the less he can figure it out, and he feels himself getting lost again.

“Lucifer,” Chloe finally says and Lucifer forces himself to look at her. “Just start talking. It will be easier once you do.”

Lucifer blinks, and nods. “I’m sorry, I’m just...worried..”

Chloe squeezes his hand gently. “Tell me first, we can cross bridges once we get there.”

Lucifer nods again and can’t help but sigh. “Ok, the beginning then, I guess.

“I’ve been hearing...voices, in my head lately. And by voices, I guess I mean, just me. My own thoughts that never stop, never say anything worth saying. The only problem is, I can’t escape them...” He pauses, waiting to see Chloe’s reaction. She only squeezes his hand again and Lucifer feels part of the weight in his chest disappear.

“I let it get the best of me, let the voices heave more control than they should have.” Lucifer starts again, voice shaky. “Then this whole thing with Pierce happened...I just kept pushing them aside and didn’t even try to help myself...” Lucifer takes a deep breath. “When he caught me, it kind of all came to a boiling point.”

Lucifer stops, knowing the next part of his story is the hardest part. His eyes flick over to the fireplace and he let’s himself get lost in the flames, some comfort washing over him as he does. “Did Pierce do something else to you that night?”Chloe asks after Lucifer has been silent for some time.

Lucifer wants to look at her, but he can’t pull his gaze away form the flames in front of him. “I’m not sure what all was found at the penthouse, but Pierce tied me up that first night. Had me strapped to a chair with just a length of rope.” The voices swirl again, louder in his head and he fights to shuffle through them. “A piece of rope that I should have been able to break from easily...” His voice trails off.

“Should have..?” Chloe supplies. Lucifer continues to stay silent, unsure of how to tell her this part of the story. “Lucifer, please, let me help...”

Lucifer closes his eyes at the tone of her voice. “Some of the voices in my head just whisper insecurities. Opinions I have about myself that I try to tell myself are unjust.” Lucifer starts again. “Other voices, though, are a lot more extreme. That night, this was the worst it has ever been.”

“What do you mean?” Chloe says, voice very soft.

“I could have easily broke those ropes, immediately, and I did eventually...” Lucifer says. “I...I wanted him to keel me, Chloe...”

The words hang between them. Lucifer flinches as Chloe’s breath hitches, but her hand doesn’t pull away from his. He eventually turns to look up at her, scared at what he will find. Tears fill her eyes, but there’s no pity, no anger anywhere to be found. Instead, she only looks at him with love and caring and Lucifer feels a part of him break.

“I’m so sorry, Chloe...I just gave in. I let him break me, wanted him to end it all...” Lucifer hears himself say. “Gave in to the voices, gave in to the feelings that I’m useless and not needed. I just didn’t know what to do anymore, didn’t know where to turn, and I never wanted to be a burden to anyone, especially not you...”

Chloe’s tears start to overflow and Lucifer watches them slide down her face and he breaks even more. “Lucifer...” she whispers. “You will never be a burden...”

“And I try to tell myself that, I really do, but I can’t make the voices go away, can’t make them stop... Even at the clinic, they were there, telling me to just give in...” Lucifer wants so badly for her to understand but feels himself breaking when he doesn’t have the words for that. “Please, I don’t want it to seem like that’s what I want but at the time,”

“It was the only option, the only choice you thought you had to make it all finally stop...” Chloe reaches for his face as she interrupts him. As her hand reaches his face, he finally feels himself start to breath a little bit. “It’s ok, I do understand, as much as I can.” She gives him a soft smile.

Lucifer takes a very deep, shaky breath. “I thought I was going to lose you if you ever found out...” he says softly. Another tear slides down her cheek and Lucifer reaches for it, brushing it away.

Chloe grabs hold of his hand, keeping his fingers splayed against her. “You will never lose me, Lucifer.”

At her words, Lucifer leans in and catches her lips, pressing his against her. Chloe quickly follows and Lucifer holds her face gently as their mouths move against each other. He feels himself holding back. He’s waiting for the voices again, but the longer he holds back, the more he realizes the room has stopped spinning and his mind is quiet.

He pulls away from Chloe and looks her in the eye. “Chloe...” he whispers, wanting to say so much to her, but he doesn’t know where to start. So, he only leans into her again, capturing her lips once more with even more intensity and feels something build in him. For once, in quite some time, Lucifer is completely sure of what he’s doing, and can’t imagine being anywhere else right now.


	21. Chapter 21

Lucifer worships Chloe. His body moves with her, learning every curve and dip of her body. His hands glide over her, pressing into her gently every chance he gets. His mind swirls, thoughts spinning around him, but for once, he doesn’t care. 

They are stretched out on the floor now, clothes discarded everywhere around them, but neither of them really care. The heat of the fire only adds to the slick sheen of sweat that coats both of them. Lucifer can’t help but revel at the taste, the desire to know every part of her the loudest voice in his head and he intends on listening to it. 

It’s been eons since he has worshiped anything, anyone, like this and he plans on savoring every moment. Every moan that escapes Chloe’s lips only fuels Lucifer’s desire for more and he continues his minstrels. Hands dig at the muscles in his back, fingers scratching marks in his skin. His own moans barely reach his ears but every time one manages to pass his lips, Chloe seems to rise to meet him even more as they roll against each other. It takes everything in Lucifer to stop himself from losing it completely, wanting so badly to hold on as much as he can so he can commit this all to memory. 

They spend the whole night pressed against each other. Lucifer sees stars the moment Chloe takes over, her mouth blazing trails over his skin. Lucifer knows his face probably looks ridiculous, but he can no longer keep the pure joy and admiration from it, even as Chloe pulls moan after moan from him, leaving him constantly desiring more. She leans over him, the light from the fireplace creating a golden glow around her as she captures his lips. Another groan leaves him as he tastes both of them on her and he wraps his arms around her. 

Chloe’s legs wrap loosely around his waist as he rolls them over again. He pulls back far enough to look down at her as his hips move against her and he feels his breath catch once again at the sight. Her golden hair is fanned out under her and he starts to lose himself completely in the blue of her eyes, happy to drown in them for the rest of eternity. 

“Chloe...” he hears himself breath out before it all becomes too much once again and they both ride their highs out, stars continuing to dance between them.

“Lucifer,” she whispers. She’s panting hard now, but her eyes are wide with surprise and wonder as she looks up at him. 

As Lucifer comes back down, if only slightly, a ruffling sound reaches his ears and he notices a new, brighter light that fills the room. Before he can put them away or even roll his eyes at them, Chloe’s hand is tangling itself in one of them, gently slipping between the feathers. A whole new realm of feelings opens up to Lucifer and it’s all he can do to keep himself from falling completely down on top of Chloe. 

“You ok?” Chloe asks, instantly concerned. “I know this was weird for you when I touched them before. I can stop, I’m-”

“Don’t stop...” Lucifer chokes out, voice strained. His arms are tense as he holds himself over her, but he’s never felt this feeling before and he wants to experience it for as long as he can. “Please, don’t stop...”

Chloe waits a moment, before continuing to slide her fingers through the feathers. Lucifer can feel himself panting, hard, but he does everything he can to keep his eyes open, wanting to watch Chloe as much as possible. His arms are shaking though and he bows his head as the sensations wash over him even more. 

Before he can react, Chloe is rolling them once more, straddling his lap. Lucifer leans back against the couch and his wings settle around the both of them. She leans into kiss him, and as their lips connect, she slides her fingers through the feathers on both wings and Lucifer can’t help the groan that builds in his chest. He breaks away from the kiss and wraps his arms around her. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he places gentle kisses on the skin there. 

“Chloe...” he breaths against her, watching as goosebumps raise against her skin. He could stay in this moment forever, could live this night over and over and never care. 

The night passes in flashes, the two of them moving with each other. There are moments where they can’t get enough of each other. Can’t help but touch and kiss and caress...Then there are quick moments where they just lay with each other. Arms wrapped tight, heads resting against the other, just needing to be in the others presence. 

When the sun starts to filter through the windows, Lucifer starts to wish he had Amenadiel’s powers to slow down time just so he could make the night last forever. Chloe’s head rests against his chest, an arm draped over his stomach. He presses a small kiss to her forehead, breathing her in. The fire has died down, only glowing embers now and Lucifer watches the sunlight steadily grow stronger. 

Chloe starts to wake up, slowly. She groans softly with little twitches moving her hands and Lucifer watches, hoping that this is a sight he gets to see everyday form now on. She slowly blinks her eyes open and they quickly find his. A small smile curls her lips. 

“Good morning, Chloe,” Lucifer says softly. 

She breaths out a small huff at his words before reaching up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “You know, I love when you call me that.”

Lucifer tilts his head. “Well, I would hope so, since it’s your name.” He feels his own lips pull into a smile. “Of course, I do enjoy calling you Detective as well. And you seemed to enjoy it last night, if I remember correctly.”

Chloe’s smile grows and she lets out a giggle. Lucifer’s arms wrap around her tighter at the sound and he can’t help but watch her every move. He never wants to leave this moment. The moment is soon broken however, by the sound of a grumble. 

“Someone’s hungry,” Lucifer says with a raised brow. They look at each other for a moment before breaking into giggles. 

“After the night we had, who could blame me?” Chloe tells him. 

“Well, who could deny that being true.” Lucifer’s face softens again and an even softer smile dances across his lips as he looks down at her. His eyes once again get lost in hers, their blueness pulling him under once more. 

“What are you looking at?” Chloe finally asks when Lucifer’s gaze doesn’t falter. 

Lucifer blinks and leans forward, placing the softest kiss against her forehead, her cheek, her lips.... “Just getting lost in you,” he breaths out against her. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier...”

Chloe’s hand comes up and lands at the base of his neck. Her fingers play with the hair there as Lucifer nuzzles against Chloe’s neck. He just starts to settle back into the moment again when Chloe’s stomach lets out another grumble. They both chuckle as they pull away enough form each other to look at the other in the eye. Lucifer’s forehead rests against hers briefly, before pulling away again once more. 

“Come, let’s go feed the ravenous beast,” he tells her, his usual mischievous smile tugging at his lips. Chloe aims a pillow at his head before pulling herself off of the ground, grabbing a blanket to wrap around herself before walking away. 

Lucifer watches her walk away, once again unable to tear his gaze away from her. She flashes a smile over her shoulder, her hair tumbling over her back before making her way up the stairs to her bedroom. Once she’s out of sight, Lucifer leans his head back against the couch, eyes closing. A sigh escapes him as a feeling of content washes over him and a sense of belonging fills the void in him that he has spent eons trying to ignore. 

Opening his eyes, he finally pulls himself off of the floor, grabbing another blanket to wrap around his own frame. he makes his way to the kitchen, pulling out various objects to make the pair of them breakfast. Arms wrap around him from behind and Lucifer feels himself lean back into their embrace. 

“Welcome home, Lucifer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say a quick thank you for everyone who has read this story! You have all been the inspiration I've needed to keep going, to keep writing, and while it took me a long time to get to the end of this finally, I really appreciate every single one of you for helping me along the way.


End file.
